Why did the Egyptian government shut off the internet? Word is, they didn't want their people to go onLyin'....!

Egypt turns off the internet....

Toyota says: "Please recall, our cars are an icon for quality." We hear: "Please recall our cars, I con for quality!"

More Toyota recalls....

Reporter: "What is Egypt famous for?" President Mubarak: "Denial"

President Mubarak orders his cabinet to resign...We have an entire civilization built around Denial...

How did President Hosni Mubarak spite his cabinet? He pulled out its drawers!

President Mubarak of Egypt asks his cabinet to resign...

Engineers at Toyota love their cars so much they keep recalling them.

Toyota recalls hundreds of thousands of cars.....again!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeBook - Your favorite horror fiction now goes digital!

Amazon reports for the first time higher sales in digital books than paper versions!

Shove el snow!

Northeast US hit by another snow storm!

Why have the Australian floods surged further? Fans sobbing over Rafael Nadal's loss!

Nadal loses in Australian quarterfinals...

How do they silence protesters in Egypt? They mum-ify them !

Thousands take to the streets in Egypt...

Why doesn't the Pope have any cardinals as friends on Facebook? The button said InWhite Friends!

The Pope appreciates social networking...

Why did Mickey Mouse hope he would not be nominated for an Oscar? That would make him a "No-minee Mouse" !!!

2011 Oscar nominations out!

Appletite: The desire to download apps from the apple store.

10 Billion downloads from the Apple apps store and counting...

When do you know global food prices are really increasing? McDonald's replaces the toy in its Happy Meal with something pricier....6 grapes!!!

McDonald's says its food prices will increase....

...in a whial Crocodial: Embedded mobile phones allow victims make emergency calls from within a crocodile !

Crocodile in Ukraine swallows a mobile phone...

The church said, Silvio Berlusconi should rediscover his spiritual roots. When faced with temptation again, he should lock himself in a room and play the organ.

The Pope weighs in on Itialian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi's sex scandal...

You say A Parent Is, I say Apprentice !

Donald Trump fired up to be a grandfather !

Twitter has a virus. Put on your bird flu masks before you tweet.

Virus spreading through Twitter !

Why did Hu Jintao really come to the US? To drive Eric Schmidt out of Google!!!

Google leaves China.
Chinese President visits the US
Google CEO steps down...

What should you expect to hear in most financial conversations with China? InnYuanDo !

US presses China for currency flexibility...

What is the Chinese President having at the State Dinner tonight ? Beef with Barackoli.

President Hu Jintao is not very happy discussing human rights violations with the US.

How would you know if a Chinese restaurant prohibits texting? There will be a "No MSG" sign outside!

Chinese President meeting with President Obama....

What happens when an earthquake hits Pakistan? OBL and his entourage are forced to switch caves!

7.4 magnitude earthquake hits Pakistan...

How did President Obama prepare for the Chinese President's visit? He watched "How to train your dragon" over and over again!

Chinese President Hu Jintao visits President Obama.

Swiss chocolate comes from cows that are fed cocoa beans and Swiss cheese from cows that are not allowed to burp.

Wikileaks promises Swiss Bank leaks!!!

Iran is getting SIRIUS! They believe they could use satellites to increase their radioactivity!!!

Iran apparently in the process to acquire technology to help it build a nuclear bomb.

Wikipediatrician: Someone who audits and corrects contributions to Wikipedia.

Wikipedia turns 10.

When in Rome, do ass. The Romans do!

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi faces inquiry into allegations he paid for sex with a teenager.

Hey! Martha Stewart was just doing what she does best......putting lipstick on a bulldog !

Martha Stewart underwent surgery after she head-butted her bulldog!

Stealth Bomber: MADE IN CHINA

China test flies the J20 Stealth Bomber, but there couldn't have been a better stealth bomber than the MADE IN CHINA brand...

Old farmhouse saying: Today the sun leaves the ram and enters the bull !

 Ophiuchus becomes the 13th Zodiac sign !!?

Why are AT&T iPhone users planning to switch to Verizon? Atleast they'll get paid for saying "Can you hear me now?"

16% of AT&T customers predicted to move to Verizon for the new iPhone.

What do they serve in Paris? French Whine!

Archeologists discover wine was manufactured in Armenia almost 6000 years back...

What will Verizon customers do with their iPhones? Nothing! They are speechless...

The Big Apple comes to Verizon...

What did the angry poultry farmers in Germany say? Ein Ei für Ein Ei !

German Scandal: Contaminated eggs may not be contaminated after all...

Facebook: One place in the world where people just love talking to a brick wall!

Facebook shutting down? Naaaaahhhhh!

Why was Sarah Palin petrified about the latest "Leak"? She was told it related to the Trans-Alaska, lyin'...!

The Trans-Alaska Oil Pipeline has a leak...
I'm in a Trance now!

Ver iZone?

Does Santa bring the iPhone to Verizon this Tuesday?

Gagarazzi: A paparazzi with a camera built into her sunglasses.

At the Consumer Electronics Show Polaroid introduces purse printers and sunglass cameras designed by Lady Gaga...

Facebook going public!...As it always has.....With your private data !

Facebook IPO in the works??

LowGo: A little picture that determines how Low your prices could Go before you start LOSING customers!!!

Starbucks decaffeinates its logo!

They serve coffee on a long haul UA flight??? The economy MUST be picking up!!!

United Airlines flight makes an emergency landing after pilot spills coffee in the cockpit, triggering off emergency codes including one for hijack....

Tourists to Rome will now be taxed, no wonder it's called the VAT I CAN...

Value Added Tax, Rome Wants moRe.......

Governor + Terminator = Governator; Governor + Terminated = Governated

Arnold Schwarzenegger governor term ends...

On new year's eve, in a little town in Arkansas, thousands of blackbirds fell mysteriously from the sky, dead. Rev Al Sharpton who immediatley flew there said the incident was racially motivated.

5000 blackbirds fall dead to the ground....Do you smell a fowl?

Just updated my resume by addiing: "Responsible for building a $50 Billion social network." Facebook.

Facebook gets valued at US $50 Billion. Our time was well spent!

What happens when gas hits $3.14 a gallon? Gas companies can officially be called Pi-rates !

Gas prices continue to rise...

How did Lady Gaga ring in the new year? She threw her dress on the barbecue and had a party!

Indulge...

How did the iPhone 4 ring in the new year? It didn't ring. It couldn't find a signal...

Desire...

How did the Pope ring in the new year? A goblet of wine began the celebation!

Faith...

How did BP ring in the new year? Throwing confetti into leaking oil wells in the hope of sealing them!

Environment...

How did the Chilean miners ring in the new year? They counted up!

Hope...

How did they ring in the new year in Iran? The men had a blast and the women got stoned!

Freedom...

How did Prince William ring in the new year? He didn't. Couldn't afford anything, let alone another ring this year!

Love...

How did WikiLeaks ring in the new year? Blowing Whistles !

Privacy...

How did Europe ring in the new year? Well, they haven't yet. New Year was delayed due to the snow storm!

Patience...

How did Toyota ring in the new year? We don't know. They said it was too early to recall anything!

Be Safe...

How did North Korea & South Korea ring in the new year? They kissed and made up under the "Missile"toe !

Peace....

How did the terrorist ring in the new year? Sham Pain !!!

Security...

New York is possibly the only city in the world that begins the year by dropping the ball. It can only go upwards from there!!!

Happy New Year!