Once upon a time, Oscar audiences used to be young and hip. Today those hips have been replaced.

Oscar turnout: Very low!

Colin goth hith firth awarth todhay!

Oscar Special!

While Portman grabbed the Oscar, Anette Bening looked Star Bored!

Oscar Special!

Live from California: A CA Dummy Awards...

Oscar Special!

How do you know the Oscars are archaic? They are hosted at the Kodak theatre....you know, the guys who made films...that went into cameras...24...36...

Oscar Special!

A viral movie is nothing to sneeze at!

Oscar Special!

New category for next year's Oscars: Most Downloaded Movie.

Oscar Special!

A. R. Rahman rocks!!! No wonder he was picked as the music director of 127 Hours. A movie filmed between a rock and a hard rock place!

Oscar Special: Muse and Music...

If Mark Wahlberg hosted the Oscars, we would get a blow by blow account of the show?

Oscar Special: The fighter churns up a hit...

Will they piqué Natalie Portman or will they passé her up for someone else?

Oscar Special: The ballerina dances on...

If Colin Firth won the Oscar, would they let him stutter his speech for more than 45 seconds?

Oscar Special! The stuttering king.....

"And the Oscar goes too!" After the LP, Tape, CD, DVD, Newspaper, Book...the Oscar goes too...

Oscar Special: Who's watching feature films these days?

SoC.I.A Network: A movie about the C.I.A cutting jobs! Everything people do and know is now posted on a wall. Who needs agents!!!

Oscar Special!

Toil Story 3: A movie about BP's 3rd attempt to plug the leak at the bottom of the ocean with.....yes....Toys!

Oscar Special!

The Kids Are All Right: A movie about a mother and her children trapped in an unstoppable Toyota!

Oscar Special!

True Grits: A movie about a town in the deep south that builds a wall to stop Mexicans coming in and adding jalapenos to their traditional recipes of grits!

Oscar Special!

Inn-ception: A movie about the hotel industry in a bad economy, luring customers with soft beds, fluffy pillows and mind blowing dreams!

Oscar special!

The Phiter: A movie about President George W. Bush's lifelong struggle to be accepted as a member of the Phi Beta Kappa society, inspite of his intellectual challenges.

Oscar Special!

Winter's Boner: A movie about how Old Man Winter screwed most of the U.S. and Europe this year.

Oscar Special!

1 to 7 Hours: A movie about a man who chops off his hand that holds the remote, waiting for the cable guy to show up, sometime between 9 AM and 4 PM.

Oscar Special!

Blacks wan: A movie about civil rights....Blacks get wha blacks wan !

Oscar Special !

King's Peach: A movie about King George's secret love affair...

Oscar Special !

How do they celebrate Oscar night at the police station? Movies and Copporn !

Oscar night is here!

Reproducer: A Bollywood producer who is very "inspired" by Hollywood hits...

Oscar weekend...

Whenever the middle east suffers an indigestion, the world has a gas problem!!!

Gas prices rise as clouds loom over the middle east...

SiteSeeing: Planning your next vacation.....Online!

Finally enjoying some days off!!!

CELEBRATING MY 1000th POST...

Why did NASA retire the space shuttle? It was called Disco very 70s, 80s ish.....

NASA retires the Discovery space shuttle.
No one goes Gaga over Discovery!

Why does Mr. Bieber make the best headlines? Because with him the news is always JustIn !!!

Justin Bieber will get waxed at Madame Tussauds...

Lib, ya!!

Anti-government protests continue in Libya. It's all about liberation, ya!

How does the ICC protect its nads? By putting on a World Cup!!!

Enjoying some cricket....are ya?

What phone does a dictator love? A dictaphone! The conversation is after all one-way!

Gaddafi toughens his stance...

Why was Barack Obama not invited to the royal wedding? They were worried he would keep crossing the aisle!!!

Obamas invited to the William, Kate wedding?....apparently not!

What do they call Moammar Gadhafi's son? Gad-half-i.....after all he's got half of his father's genes!

Gadhafi's son warns of a Libyan civil war.

I got outvited to the Prince William & Kate Middleton wedding !

Invitations are out. Are you in?

What do airlines have in common with cosmetic surgeons? They know how to lose bags right under their eyes !!!

I'm home, my bags are not !!!

What happens when your status is always "In a relation ship"? Soon you'll be see sick!

Facebook adds controversial elements to its Relationship Status.

Oxymoron: Students Pro-test

Protests spread through the middle east.

Why was the Indian cricket team so motivated? They were going to Bang La Desh !

ICC World Cup...India vs. Bangladesh...

Tiger Woods has confessed! It wasn't him, just his spitting image !!!

Tiger Woods fined for spitting during a golf tournament in Dubai...

Bikipedia: A comprehensive library of bikinis and long legs !

Sports Illustrated Annual Swimsuit edition now on newsstands and online...

Foot longs for a sock !

Subway in battle over trademarking the term 'footlong'

Why is Greenpeace targeting casinos? Because they are "whale" hunting !

Japan suspends their annual whale hunt because of an anti-whaling group.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_roller

This year, what do you call the day after Valentine's Day? Two'sday

A Valentine's Hangover...

Without U, a rose is a rose is a rose. With U, arouse is arouse is arouse !

Happy Valentine's Day!

If love lifts us up where we belong, why do we FALL in love?

Happy Valentine's Day!

"Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been years since my last confession. I have taken a byte of the forbidden fruit."

Go ahead, confess! There's an App for it on the forbidden fruit!

How do you freeze an asset? You send it to Switzerland! Preferably to the alps.

Switzerland is freezing assets owned there by Hosni Mubarak.

What was the problem with Mubarak? He had buried his head in the sand !

After ignoring public sentiment for weeks, Egyptian President Mubarak finally steps down...

When are you allowed to eat greasy food? Fryday!

TGIF = Thursday Gone, It's Friday......
Working weekend!

Where do you find the best eggs in the world? AtHens

Greek oil tanker headed to the US is hijacked.

Why did Lindsay Lohan steal a $2,500 necklace? Because she could not get her hands on the $25,000 solitaire!

Lindsay Lohan charged of stealing a $2,500 necklace from a Venice Beach jewelry store...

Why did her personal security officer wipe Chief Minister Mayawati's shoes? He thought she needed some sole cleansing!

In India security officer stoops to wipe of politician's shoes...

Old Chinese Saying: You pay peanuts and the economy just sat ay!

China raises interest rates to fight inflation...

Why did Toyota pick up speed? It wanted to take the company to a new high!

Toyota unintended accelerations to be explained...

What do Chinese astrologers and Playboy models have in common? Bunny Years!

China begins the year of the rabbit...

How did the Egyptian protests gain momentum? It was a Pyramid Scheme!

Egyptians push for Mubarak to step down...

Obesity Doubled !!

In the last 3 decades...

What is an IP Address? Directions to the nearest toilet !

Internet runs out of IP addresses?

Why part of the news does an iPad find funny? OurTickles !!!

'The Daily', the first news publication created solely for the iPad...
Go on, use your fingers...

What is the first thing you'd say when you start using Google Voice on Twitter? Cheap, Cheap!

Google releases voice to twitter messages....

Why did the Egyptian government shut off the internet? Word is, they didn't want their people to go onLyin'....!

Egypt turns off the internet....

Toyota says: "Please recall, our cars are an icon for quality." We hear: "Please recall our cars, I con for quality!"

More Toyota recalls....

Reporter: "What is Egypt famous for?" President Mubarak: "Denial"

President Mubarak orders his cabinet to resign...We have an entire civilization built around Denial...

How did President Hosni Mubarak spite his cabinet? He pulled out its drawers!

President Mubarak of Egypt asks his cabinet to resign...

Engineers at Toyota love their cars so much they keep recalling them.

Toyota recalls hundreds of thousands of cars.....again!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeBook - Your favorite horror fiction now goes digital!

Amazon reports for the first time higher sales in digital books than paper versions!

Shove el snow!

Northeast US hit by another snow storm!

Why have the Australian floods surged further? Fans sobbing over Rafael Nadal's loss!

Nadal loses in Australian quarterfinals...

How do they silence protesters in Egypt? They mum-ify them !

Thousands take to the streets in Egypt...

Why doesn't the Pope have any cardinals as friends on Facebook? The button said InWhite Friends!

The Pope appreciates social networking...

Why did Mickey Mouse hope he would not be nominated for an Oscar? That would make him a "No-minee Mouse" !!!

2011 Oscar nominations out!

Appletite: The desire to download apps from the apple store.

10 Billion downloads from the Apple apps store and counting...

When do you know global food prices are really increasing? McDonald's replaces the toy in its Happy Meal with something pricier....6 grapes!!!

McDonald's says its food prices will increase....

...in a whial Crocodial: Embedded mobile phones allow victims make emergency calls from within a crocodile !

Crocodile in Ukraine swallows a mobile phone...

The church said, Silvio Berlusconi should rediscover his spiritual roots. When faced with temptation again, he should lock himself in a room and play the organ.

The Pope weighs in on Itialian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi's sex scandal...

You say A Parent Is, I say Apprentice !

Donald Trump fired up to be a grandfather !

Twitter has a virus. Put on your bird flu masks before you tweet.

Virus spreading through Twitter !

Why did Hu Jintao really come to the US? To drive Eric Schmidt out of Google!!!

Google leaves China.
Chinese President visits the US
Google CEO steps down...

What should you expect to hear in most financial conversations with China? InnYuanDo !

US presses China for currency flexibility...

What is the Chinese President having at the State Dinner tonight ? Beef with Barackoli.

President Hu Jintao is not very happy discussing human rights violations with the US.

How would you know if a Chinese restaurant prohibits texting? There will be a "No MSG" sign outside!

Chinese President meeting with President Obama....

What happens when an earthquake hits Pakistan? OBL and his entourage are forced to switch caves!

7.4 magnitude earthquake hits Pakistan...

How did President Obama prepare for the Chinese President's visit? He watched "How to train your dragon" over and over again!

Chinese President Hu Jintao visits President Obama.

Swiss chocolate comes from cows that are fed cocoa beans and Swiss cheese from cows that are not allowed to burp.

Wikileaks promises Swiss Bank leaks!!!

Iran is getting SIRIUS! They believe they could use satellites to increase their radioactivity!!!

Iran apparently in the process to acquire technology to help it build a nuclear bomb.

Wikipediatrician: Someone who audits and corrects contributions to Wikipedia.

Wikipedia turns 10.

When in Rome, do ass. The Romans do!

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi faces inquiry into allegations he paid for sex with a teenager.

Hey! Martha Stewart was just doing what she does best......putting lipstick on a bulldog !

Martha Stewart underwent surgery after she head-butted her bulldog!

Stealth Bomber: MADE IN CHINA

China test flies the J20 Stealth Bomber, but there couldn't have been a better stealth bomber than the MADE IN CHINA brand...

Old farmhouse saying: Today the sun leaves the ram and enters the bull !

 Ophiuchus becomes the 13th Zodiac sign !!?

Why are AT&T iPhone users planning to switch to Verizon? Atleast they'll get paid for saying "Can you hear me now?"

16% of AT&T customers predicted to move to Verizon for the new iPhone.

What do they serve in Paris? French Whine!

Archeologists discover wine was manufactured in Armenia almost 6000 years back...

What will Verizon customers do with their iPhones? Nothing! They are speechless...

The Big Apple comes to Verizon...

What did the angry poultry farmers in Germany say? Ein Ei für Ein Ei !

German Scandal: Contaminated eggs may not be contaminated after all...

Facebook: One place in the world where people just love talking to a brick wall!

Facebook shutting down? Naaaaahhhhh!

Why was Sarah Palin petrified about the latest "Leak"? She was told it related to the Trans-Alaska, lyin'...!

The Trans-Alaska Oil Pipeline has a leak...
I'm in a Trance now!

Ver iZone?

Does Santa bring the iPhone to Verizon this Tuesday?

Gagarazzi: A paparazzi with a camera built into her sunglasses.

At the Consumer Electronics Show Polaroid introduces purse printers and sunglass cameras designed by Lady Gaga...

Facebook going public!...As it always has.....With your private data !

Facebook IPO in the works??

LowGo: A little picture that determines how Low your prices could Go before you start LOSING customers!!!

Starbucks decaffeinates its logo!