Shove el snow!

Northeast US hit by another snow storm!

Why have the Australian floods surged further? Fans sobbing over Rafael Nadal's loss!

Nadal loses in Australian quarterfinals...

How do they silence protesters in Egypt? They mum-ify them !

Thousands take to the streets in Egypt...

Why doesn't the Pope have any cardinals as friends on Facebook? The button said InWhite Friends!

The Pope appreciates social networking...

Why did Mickey Mouse hope he would not be nominated for an Oscar? That would make him a "No-minee Mouse" !!!

2011 Oscar nominations out!

Appletite: The desire to download apps from the apple store.

10 Billion downloads from the Apple apps store and counting...

When do you know global food prices are really increasing? McDonald's replaces the toy in its Happy Meal with something pricier....6 grapes!!!

McDonald's says its food prices will increase....

...in a whial Crocodial: Embedded mobile phones allow victims make emergency calls from within a crocodile !

Crocodile in Ukraine swallows a mobile phone...

The church said, Silvio Berlusconi should rediscover his spiritual roots. When faced with temptation again, he should lock himself in a room and play the organ.

The Pope weighs in on Itialian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi's sex scandal...

You say A Parent Is, I say Apprentice !

Donald Trump fired up to be a grandfather !

Twitter has a virus. Put on your bird flu masks before you tweet.

Virus spreading through Twitter !

Why did Hu Jintao really come to the US? To drive Eric Schmidt out of Google!!!

Google leaves China.
Chinese President visits the US
Google CEO steps down...

What should you expect to hear in most financial conversations with China? InnYuanDo !

US presses China for currency flexibility...

What is the Chinese President having at the State Dinner tonight ? Beef with Barackoli.

President Hu Jintao is not very happy discussing human rights violations with the US.

How would you know if a Chinese restaurant prohibits texting? There will be a "No MSG" sign outside!

Chinese President meeting with President Obama....

What happens when an earthquake hits Pakistan? OBL and his entourage are forced to switch caves!

7.4 magnitude earthquake hits Pakistan...

How did President Obama prepare for the Chinese President's visit? He watched "How to train your dragon" over and over again!

Chinese President Hu Jintao visits President Obama.

Swiss chocolate comes from cows that are fed cocoa beans and Swiss cheese from cows that are not allowed to burp.

Wikileaks promises Swiss Bank leaks!!!

Iran is getting SIRIUS! They believe they could use satellites to increase their radioactivity!!!

Iran apparently in the process to acquire technology to help it build a nuclear bomb.

Wikipediatrician: Someone who audits and corrects contributions to Wikipedia.

Wikipedia turns 10.

When in Rome, do ass. The Romans do!

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi faces inquiry into allegations he paid for sex with a teenager.

Hey! Martha Stewart was just doing what she does best......putting lipstick on a bulldog !

Martha Stewart underwent surgery after she head-butted her bulldog!

Stealth Bomber: MADE IN CHINA

China test flies the J20 Stealth Bomber, but there couldn't have been a better stealth bomber than the MADE IN CHINA brand...

Old farmhouse saying: Today the sun leaves the ram and enters the bull !

 Ophiuchus becomes the 13th Zodiac sign !!?

Why are AT&T iPhone users planning to switch to Verizon? Atleast they'll get paid for saying "Can you hear me now?"

16% of AT&T customers predicted to move to Verizon for the new iPhone.

What do they serve in Paris? French Whine!

Archeologists discover wine was manufactured in Armenia almost 6000 years back...

What will Verizon customers do with their iPhones? Nothing! They are speechless...

The Big Apple comes to Verizon...

What did the angry poultry farmers in Germany say? Ein Ei für Ein Ei !

German Scandal: Contaminated eggs may not be contaminated after all...

Facebook: One place in the world where people just love talking to a brick wall!

Facebook shutting down? Naaaaahhhhh!

Why was Sarah Palin petrified about the latest "Leak"? She was told it related to the Trans-Alaska, lyin'...!

The Trans-Alaska Oil Pipeline has a leak...
I'm in a Trance now!

Ver iZone?

Does Santa bring the iPhone to Verizon this Tuesday?

Gagarazzi: A paparazzi with a camera built into her sunglasses.

At the Consumer Electronics Show Polaroid introduces purse printers and sunglass cameras designed by Lady Gaga...

Facebook going public!...As it always has.....With your private data !

Facebook IPO in the works??

LowGo: A little picture that determines how Low your prices could Go before you start LOSING customers!!!

Starbucks decaffeinates its logo!

They serve coffee on a long haul UA flight??? The economy MUST be picking up!!!

United Airlines flight makes an emergency landing after pilot spills coffee in the cockpit, triggering off emergency codes including one for hijack....

Tourists to Rome will now be taxed, no wonder it's called the VAT I CAN...

Value Added Tax, Rome Wants moRe.......

Governor + Terminator = Governator; Governor + Terminated = Governated

Arnold Schwarzenegger governor term ends...

On new year's eve, in a little town in Arkansas, thousands of blackbirds fell mysteriously from the sky, dead. Rev Al Sharpton who immediatley flew there said the incident was racially motivated.

5000 blackbirds fall dead to the ground....Do you smell a fowl?

Just updated my resume by addiing: "Responsible for building a $50 Billion social network." Facebook.

Facebook gets valued at US $50 Billion. Our time was well spent!

What happens when gas hits $3.14 a gallon? Gas companies can officially be called Pi-rates !

Gas prices continue to rise...

How did Lady Gaga ring in the new year? She threw her dress on the barbecue and had a party!

Indulge...

How did the iPhone 4 ring in the new year? It didn't ring. It couldn't find a signal...

Desire...

How did the Pope ring in the new year? A goblet of wine began the celebation!

Faith...

How did BP ring in the new year? Throwing confetti into leaking oil wells in the hope of sealing them!

Environment...

How did the Chilean miners ring in the new year? They counted up!

Hope...

How did they ring in the new year in Iran? The men had a blast and the women got stoned!

Freedom...

How did Prince William ring in the new year? He didn't. Couldn't afford anything, let alone another ring this year!

Love...

How did WikiLeaks ring in the new year? Blowing Whistles !

Privacy...

How did Europe ring in the new year? Well, they haven't yet. New Year was delayed due to the snow storm!

Patience...

How did Toyota ring in the new year? We don't know. They said it was too early to recall anything!

Be Safe...

How did North Korea & South Korea ring in the new year? They kissed and made up under the "Missile"toe !

Peace....

How did the terrorist ring in the new year? Sham Pain !!!

Security...

New York is possibly the only city in the world that begins the year by dropping the ball. It can only go upwards from there!!!

Happy New Year!

If everything there was expected to be hunky dory they would not have named the country iWorry Coast !

Presidential election results still causing turmoil in the Ivory Coast...

√excitement = (Times)²

Location, Location, Location...

Ringtone in the New Year!

Happy New Year's Eve...

What comes before New Year's Eve? New Year's Adam !

Happy New Year's Adam!!!

New York, the city that never sweeps!

Cleanup in NY after the blizzard is slow, very slow.

The realtor said it is a seller's market, what she meant was that home prices are down in the cellar !

US home values continue to fall...

Joan Rivers' Greeting : Happy New Ear......Nose.....Face.....Tummy.....Boobs....Butt...

Happy Holidays !

84 - 24 = Sexty

Hugh Hefner (84) founder of Playboy magazine engaged to playmate Crystal Harris (24). You fill in the blanks.....literally!

Mother Nature is passing wind our way, no wonder the day stinks!

Blizzard over the Northeast US.

Why do they hate snow in Chinatown, New York? People shoveLing !

Blizzard hits the Northeast US.

Old German Saying: One Man's Gift Is Another Man's Poison !

Time to return your unwanted Christmas Gifts !!!
German Word For Poison: Gift

Why did Santa get arrested? Reindeer sleighing !

Happy Holidays !

Which of Santa's reindeers has been very naughty? That would be North Pole Dancer !

Happy Holidays...

Santa got me 3 Farmville goats...Yay!

Happy Holidays!

Believe: An exotic place where quaint looking little people make toys for kids around the world, delivered by a big old man in red...China!

Made In China

Why do they call him Santa Caus in France? Because he is Father Noel !

Happy Holidays...

Why do the French love wine? Because finding water in Paris would only be in Seine !

Snow continues to paralyze Paris...

Why isn't Santa here yet? It's probably the snow, man!

Come rain or snow...

Oxymoron: Politically Correct

Happy Holidays !??!

Mr. Gore, if you need to gather any more evidence about Climate Change, just go to SoCal now also known as SoakAl !

Southern California declares a state of emergency due to flooding and excess rainfall.

US Census results released this week show that New Jersey's population growth has slowed. New Jersey is contesting the results. They claim their citizens were all stuck at airports in Europe!

US Census results in. Some states may lose seats in the US Congress due to slow population growth...

Europe renames its airports. London-HeatLow, Amsterdam-SkiFall, Madrid-Brrrrajas, Paris-RawIcy, Frankfurt-Frankfurt Amen...

The freeze continues...

Skizophrenia: A situation wherein your left and right skis, each seems to have a mind of its own and ends up giving YOU a split personality!

Snow still creating a havoc in Europe.

Paris Charles de Gaulle airport is entertaining stranded passengers by singing English Carols in French accents: "Zee weather outside eez frightful, But zee fire eez soo delightful, And since we've no place to go, Le tits now, Le tits now, Le tits now..."

Bad weather moves inland Europe...

How did Larry King manage to hang around for 25 years? Suspenders!

Larry King Live comes to an end after 25 years !

What's the difference between the Queen and the rest of England? The rest of England has a stiff UPPER lip!

England under a big freeze...

What is the difference between taxes and sex? One you pay-as-you-go the other you pay-as-you-come!

Cash strapped city in Germany enforces a sex tax!

Did you hear? Body Browsing is addictive! You could run out of Cache!

Google releases Body Browsing...
TSA officials are officially out of a job now !

How do you avoid future spills? "Sew" BP !

US to sue BP on oil spill...

GOMEZ!

Time Magazine nominates Mark Elliot Zuckerberg, co-founder of Facebook as Person Of The Year 2010.Go MEZ !

How can Microsoft kill the iPad? Release Microsoft Office for iOS4.

Microsoft to relase iPad killer tablet...

Oxymoron: OpenLeaks

Former WikiLeaks members form rival site OpenLeaks.org.
Question: If it were closed would it be a leak?

Naval Drill: A tool used for liposuction !

South Korea to conduct naval drills.

How would world leaders like Assange served? Julienned !

Julian Assange founder of Wikileaks is on a lot of "take out" menus!

Simplicity is highly complicated.

At the airport, where is it most likely you'd find a diplomat? The Frequent Liar Lounge !

Indian Ambassador to the US gets a pat down at Jackson-Evers International Airport in Mississippi.

China offers peace prize in Liu of Nobel !

China established and offered the Confucius Peace Prize to counter the Nobel Peace Prize offered to Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo.

What did the art connoisseur get when he carried home a $23 Million Marble Bust? Bust Marble...!

A marble bust of Antinous companion of  Roman Emperor Hadrian auctioned for over $23 million, at Sotheby's.

Consumer Reports named AT&T the worst mobile carrier in the US. I disagree! AT&T is not a carrier, it's a dropper.

Consumer reports deems AT&T worst mobile carrier in the US.

In ancient Rome, what did the nuclear scientist say to the politician? "Urcranium is up Uranium!"

France and India sign a major nuclear deal...

Old Middle Eastern Definition - Cheer Leader : Someone who flatters the regime !

Qatar wins the bid to host the 2022 Football World Cup !

What is the difference between football and the KGB? The pitch of your scream when a ball is kicked !

Russia wins bid to host the 2018 World Cup.

Alp! Alp!

Wikileaks is a global concern,
Political secrets we all get to learn,
It's now underground,
Too hard to be found.
For if you went there you'd just have to Bern.

Chinese train for world "speed" record. Unfortunately they were too high to recieve it !

Chinese train breaks world speed record.
Where is the drug enforcement agency when you need them?

(Denial Of Service) DOS: Technology that brings a computer to its knees. MS-DOS: Microsoft's first attempt !

Denial of Service attacks attempt to shutdown WikiLeaks...

Why did the Queen vist the UAE? Dubai gifts for the upcoming wedding!

QE visits UAE...

Responding to WikiLeaks, Pakistan dismissed fears that its nuclear material could fall into the hands of terrorists....It already is !

How do you plug a leak?