Mr. Gore, if you need to gather any more evidence about Climate Change, just go to SoCal now also known as SoakAl !

Southern California declares a state of emergency due to flooding and excess rainfall.

US Census results released this week show that New Jersey's population growth has slowed. New Jersey is contesting the results. They claim their citizens were all stuck at airports in Europe!

US Census results in. Some states may lose seats in the US Congress due to slow population growth...

Europe renames its airports. London-HeatLow, Amsterdam-SkiFall, Madrid-Brrrrajas, Paris-RawIcy, Frankfurt-Frankfurt Amen...

The freeze continues...

Skizophrenia: A situation wherein your left and right skis, each seems to have a mind of its own and ends up giving YOU a split personality!

Snow still creating a havoc in Europe.

Paris Charles de Gaulle airport is entertaining stranded passengers by singing English Carols in French accents: "Zee weather outside eez frightful, But zee fire eez soo delightful, And since we've no place to go, Le tits now, Le tits now, Le tits now..."

Bad weather moves inland Europe...

How did Larry King manage to hang around for 25 years? Suspenders!

Larry King Live comes to an end after 25 years !

What's the difference between the Queen and the rest of England? The rest of England has a stiff UPPER lip!

England under a big freeze...

What is the difference between taxes and sex? One you pay-as-you-go the other you pay-as-you-come!

Cash strapped city in Germany enforces a sex tax!

Did you hear? Body Browsing is addictive! You could run out of Cache!

Google releases Body Browsing...
TSA officials are officially out of a job now !

How do you avoid future spills? "Sew" BP !

US to sue BP on oil spill...

GOMEZ!

Time Magazine nominates Mark Elliot Zuckerberg, co-founder of Facebook as Person Of The Year 2010.Go MEZ !

How can Microsoft kill the iPad? Release Microsoft Office for iOS4.

Microsoft to relase iPad killer tablet...

Oxymoron: OpenLeaks

Former WikiLeaks members form rival site OpenLeaks.org.
Question: If it were closed would it be a leak?

Naval Drill: A tool used for liposuction !

South Korea to conduct naval drills.

How would world leaders like Assange served? Julienned !

Julian Assange founder of Wikileaks is on a lot of "take out" menus!

Simplicity is highly complicated.

At the airport, where is it most likely you'd find a diplomat? The Frequent Liar Lounge !

Indian Ambassador to the US gets a pat down at Jackson-Evers International Airport in Mississippi.

China offers peace prize in Liu of Nobel !

China established and offered the Confucius Peace Prize to counter the Nobel Peace Prize offered to Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo.

What did the art connoisseur get when he carried home a $23 Million Marble Bust? Bust Marble...!

A marble bust of Antinous companion of  Roman Emperor Hadrian auctioned for over $23 million, at Sotheby's.

Consumer Reports named AT&T the worst mobile carrier in the US. I disagree! AT&T is not a carrier, it's a dropper.

Consumer reports deems AT&T worst mobile carrier in the US.

In ancient Rome, what did the nuclear scientist say to the politician? "Urcranium is up Uranium!"

France and India sign a major nuclear deal...

Old Middle Eastern Definition - Cheer Leader : Someone who flatters the regime !

Qatar wins the bid to host the 2022 Football World Cup !

What is the difference between football and the KGB? The pitch of your scream when a ball is kicked !

Russia wins bid to host the 2018 World Cup.

Alp! Alp!

Wikileaks is a global concern,
Political secrets we all get to learn,
It's now underground,
Too hard to be found.
For if you went there you'd just have to Bern.

Chinese train for world "speed" record. Unfortunately they were too high to recieve it !

Chinese train breaks world speed record.
Where is the drug enforcement agency when you need them?

(Denial Of Service) DOS: Technology that brings a computer to its knees. MS-DOS: Microsoft's first attempt !

Denial of Service attacks attempt to shutdown WikiLeaks...

Why did the Queen vist the UAE? Dubai gifts for the upcoming wedding!

QE visits UAE...

Responding to WikiLeaks, Pakistan dismissed fears that its nuclear material could fall into the hands of terrorists....It already is !

How do you plug a leak?

Old Egyptian Saying: When your daddy dies he becomes a mummy.

Elections underway in Egypt....

North Korea says it means no harm, its missiles were just Seoul Searching !

North and South Korea at loggerheads ....again!

VickyLeaks: A site that reveals Victoria's Secrets !

WikiLeaks' expected releases could damage US global relations !

Old concrete jungle saying: At the stroke of 12, the Mall shall become the Maul...

Black and blue after black friday bargain hunting....

...he actually got injured, trying to grab the last 65" LCD TV at Walmart !

On black friday, President Obama gets 12 stitches, after hurting himself playing a basketball game at the Whitehouse...

Bargain Hunting: A ritual in the United States where people frantically run around the city trying to gain more bars on their AT&T based iPhones.

Happy Black Friday !Do you hear me now?

Spray with oil, then rub rosemary on the rack........Now I understand why most passionate chefs are men!

Happy Thanksgiving!

What would the turkey say? Gobble!

Happy Thanksgiving !

Security Tip: Something you pay a TSA official if you enjoy the experience !

Screenings and pat downs at airports in the US pick up as the Thanksgiving Holiday approaches.

Oracle Tagline: Best run businesses run "off" SAP !

SAP to pay Oracle 1.3 billion in fines!

What type of engagement ring can an irishman afford? One with a shamrock !

Ireland sees red. It's ready for a bailout.

Men shouldn't cover their heads in holey places.

The Pope says condoms may be justified in very specific situations....

Airport security goes high-tech. Avaliable at an airport near you: Touch Screams !

Security pat downs causing quite a riot !

Direland !

Ireland in a financial crisis...

Why would a bank ban mobile phones? Because they profit when you wire more not wireless!

A city in Argentina bans using cell phones in banks. 15 days in jail. You though will be allowed 1 phone call before you're imprisoned.

Why did the prince go on disney to propose to his fiancé? Because dat knee was hurting!

Prince William and Kate Middleton engaged to be married.

What insects would people love to have on their Apples? Beatles !

The Beatles coming to iTunes?

Social Networking: Browsing your social net while working!

Facebook introduces email....

iOS4MAc

Apple shares fall. Wonder what people are seeing that warrants fear ?

Mail Man.........well is there any other type of man?

United States Postal Services reports losses. Billions more...

You have been selected to volunteer !

‎2010 Christmas Tree arrives at the Rockefeller Center in New York. This year chopped down and brought in from Mohopac, NY.

What happens to a ship when it stops working? It becomes a Sale Boat !

Stranded passengers on disabled cruise ship Carnival Splendor return to shore.

Incentivize: Someone who is wise in scents !

Rumor has it, Google is giving its employees a 10% hike!

What came after The Big Bang? The FBI !

Scientists at the Large Hadron Collider, Geneva created a series of mini Big Bangs to reproduce conditions that existed minutes after the creation of the universe...

Did you read George W. Bush's new book? No, but I did see the pictures...

G W. Bush's book - Decission Points releases today...

Befriended the Queen on Facebook today and gave her a friendly poke, the secret service broke down my wall they disliked the joke !

The British Royal Family is now on Facebook...

Apple iTouché

Apple's renaming its product line. Without a signal it's not a phone. Without an alarm it's not a clock. Without Flash it's not a browser.
Apple alarm clock features do not recognize Daylight Savings Time !

The difference between Gaudy and Gaudi is an i .... for beauty !

Pope Benedict dedicates the Sagrada Familia chucrh designed by Antoni Gaudi.....some say it's very gaudy, others say it's totally Gaudi !

What did President Obama enjoy in India that he could never have in the US? A Tea Party !

Barack Obama visits India in the wake of US mid-term elections...

How does President Obama increase his visibility? He visits India during the festival of lights !!!

Do you see me now ?!!!

"Pouch! Pouch! Pouch!..." - A female kangaroo in labor !

Qantas Airbus 380 blows an engine en route to Sydney...Pouch!

D-votee: A person who votes Democrat.

US mid-term elections results out...

Google offers cash to users who uncover bugs. New Yorkers rake in millions without leaving their beds!

Google to offer cash to users who discover security loopholes and such...

Chinese Checkers: Census officials in China.

China to count its population

Airports to increase pat downs. I believe it's the down and not the pat that has got people concerned!

Enhanced pat downs go in place...

How do you truly experience 3G on Mount Everest? You jump off the cliff !

3G service now available on Mount Everest. I should remember to take my cell phone along on my weekly trip to the summit! Physics majors yes, yes, I do understand the difference between free fall vs. g-forces..... ;))))

Why was Madame Butterfly pulled off a plane? She had a suspicious package !

Suspected bomb found on UPS cargo plane flying to the US.http://www.japanreview.net/review_madame.htm

What will a white iPhone get that a black iPhone doesn't ? Better Service !

A white iPhone is postponed again.....now could that be racial profiling?

Bed bugs have spread from NYC to the United Nations. So for the record NYC brought the bugs to foreigners not the other way around!

Bed bugs spread to the United Nations.

His legendary vision put them behind the eight ball, so along with their beer today the Germans ate Paul.

Paul the Octopus, the soccer fortune teller is dead. His last words, "Life sucks...!"

1979: Take a Walkman. 2010: Take a walk man !

Sony retires the Walkman...

Since Melinda Gates said her home was no place for Apple, Steve Jobs is rebuilding his home, this time without windows or gates!

The Gates household will tolerate no Apple products.

Low-Fat Milk: A cereal killer !

Swedish authorities hunt a serial shooter...

What happens when wikileaks? A politician get sweat !

Wikileaks reports thousands of civilian deaths in Iraq...

Honda has recalled thousands of cars with malfunctioning brakes. They will solve the problem by putting in louder horns!

Honda recalls half a million cars to fix brake fluid leaks !

Why won't your Toyota stop? It wants to be a roll model !

Toyota recalls cars with faulty brakes !

Who legalizes pot? The High Court !!!

California trying to legalize marijuana ....

Astronomers are elated that they have spotted the most distant celestial object ever. Women on the other hand say the most distant object by any standards is right here on earth. Men!

Astronomers have confirmed the observation of the most distant galaxy. 13.1 billion light years away.

Why are Apple fans turning criminals? Someone told them they could "face time" in prison!

New MacBook Air introduced with Facetime...
An iPad with a keyboard...

How do you know the US military means business? They are getting rid of the 'Don't Task, Don't Yell' policy!

President Obama is urging Congress to repeal the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy...

What do they call tax evasion in China? Duck PayKing !

Chinese interest rate hikes causes global stocks to falter.

Worst Chilean pick up line? "Your place or mine?"

Chilean miners seem to be getting back to life...

Overheard at my local Walmart: Vegetables are good for health because they are a great source of fiber...glass

Walmart recalls frozen vegetables that may contain shreds of glass !

Oxymoron: French Crude.

Worker strikes at French oil refineries cause disruptions across the country.

What is the worst feature of a $8 Million iPhone 4? You still need a $20 plastic bumper to receive a decent AT&T signal !

Stuart Hughes creates a diamond covered iPhone 4 that has a price tag of $5 million pounds !

The purple pill from Pfizer is facing stiff competition since a single capsule got 33 men up !

The rescued Chilean miners are getting all sorts of endorsement offers, including one for sex-aid vitamins !!!

Nestléd.

The worlds longest train tunnel now nestled under the Swiss Alps. The chocolate gets really dark here !

Sexting: When privacy becomes privasee !

Apple releases app that blocks sexting....

What makes the iPhone 4 so addictive? Crack !

iPhone 4 back glass reported to crack...

What should you expect from a phone with Windows? Panes !

Microsoft announces phones with Windows 7.

What is the worst thing about space travel? Miss Universe can no longer be only from earth!

Virgin Galactic makes first manned flight into space...

Search Engine Optimization: Mercedes recalls cars that a driver can't control. Google tests cars that don't need a driver to control.

Daimler Benz recalls cars that have a defect in their steering mechanism.Google tests cars that don't need a driver!
Now that's what I call Search Engine Optimization...

It has taken 2 months to reach them. Chilean minors now groan !

After almost 2 months the rescue drill finally reaches the Chilean miners...

Should Mark Zuckerberg get the peace Nobel? He's filled the world with millions of likes, billions of friends and no dislike button....yet !

Chinese dissident, Liu Xiaobo, wins 2010 Nobel for peace.

I like IT on a private cloud !

Cloud computing is the buzz, hey wait a minute, isn't the "I like it..."  cancer awareness campaign also creating a bigger buzz on Facebook?

.

The above post was intended to be written in Koro a newly discovered in India and spoken by a select few, Koro however has no script !

Text tube baby: Children belonging to the texting & youTubing generation !

Robert Edwards pioneer of the "test-tube baby" gets awarded the Nobel for medicine.

Solar panels coming to the White House. Does that mean the president will lose "power" everytime dark clouds gather over him?

The White House will soon adopt solar energy.

US and Japan adviced their citizens against travelling to Europe. Given the economic situation I wonder who has the cash to visit Europe?

US and Japan issue a travel warning to Europe.

Officials in New Delhi have confessed to corruption! They said the Metro project was such a success only because of the "underground connections!"

Commonwealth games kick off in New Delhi. We hope the worst is behind us...

How do you double your miles per gallon? You request the galon your car to lose half her weight!

US car manufacturers may be required to double their fuel economy to 62 MPG by 2025.

Why am I sitting in a traffic jam, when almost every car manufacturer has recalled their cars?

BMW, the latest of car manufacturers to recall its 5, 6, 7 series and certain Rolls Royce models...