How do you know the US military means business? They are getting rid of the 'Don't Task, Don't Yell' policy!

President Obama is urging Congress to repeal the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy...

What do they call tax evasion in China? Duck PayKing !

Chinese interest rate hikes causes global stocks to falter.

Worst Chilean pick up line? "Your place or mine?"

Chilean miners seem to be getting back to life...

Overheard at my local Walmart: Vegetables are good for health because they are a great source of fiber...glass

Walmart recalls frozen vegetables that may contain shreds of glass !

Oxymoron: French Crude.

Worker strikes at French oil refineries cause disruptions across the country.

What is the worst feature of a $8 Million iPhone 4? You still need a $20 plastic bumper to receive a decent AT&T signal !

Stuart Hughes creates a diamond covered iPhone 4 that has a price tag of $5 million pounds !

The purple pill from Pfizer is facing stiff competition since a single capsule got 33 men up !

The rescued Chilean miners are getting all sorts of endorsement offers, including one for sex-aid vitamins !!!

Nestléd.

The worlds longest train tunnel now nestled under the Swiss Alps. The chocolate gets really dark here !

Sexting: When privacy becomes privasee !

Apple releases app that blocks sexting....

What makes the iPhone 4 so addictive? Crack !

iPhone 4 back glass reported to crack...

What should you expect from a phone with Windows? Panes !

Microsoft announces phones with Windows 7.

What is the worst thing about space travel? Miss Universe can no longer be only from earth!

Virgin Galactic makes first manned flight into space...

Search Engine Optimization: Mercedes recalls cars that a driver can't control. Google tests cars that don't need a driver to control.

Daimler Benz recalls cars that have a defect in their steering mechanism.Google tests cars that don't need a driver!
Now that's what I call Search Engine Optimization...

It has taken 2 months to reach them. Chilean minors now groan !

After almost 2 months the rescue drill finally reaches the Chilean miners...

Should Mark Zuckerberg get the peace Nobel? He's filled the world with millions of likes, billions of friends and no dislike button....yet !

Chinese dissident, Liu Xiaobo, wins 2010 Nobel for peace.

I like IT on a private cloud !

Cloud computing is the buzz, hey wait a minute, isn't the "I like it..."  cancer awareness campaign also creating a bigger buzz on Facebook?

.

The above post was intended to be written in Koro a newly discovered in India and spoken by a select few, Koro however has no script !

Text tube baby: Children belonging to the texting & youTubing generation !

Robert Edwards pioneer of the "test-tube baby" gets awarded the Nobel for medicine.

Solar panels coming to the White House. Does that mean the president will lose "power" everytime dark clouds gather over him?

The White House will soon adopt solar energy.

US and Japan adviced their citizens against travelling to Europe. Given the economic situation I wonder who has the cash to visit Europe?

US and Japan issue a travel warning to Europe.

Officials in New Delhi have confessed to corruption! They said the Metro project was such a success only because of the "underground connections!"

Commonwealth games kick off in New Delhi. We hope the worst is behind us...

How do you double your miles per gallon? You request the galon your car to lose half her weight!

US car manufacturers may be required to double their fuel economy to 62 MPG by 2025.

Why am I sitting in a traffic jam, when almost every car manufacturer has recalled their cars?

BMW, the latest of car manufacturers to recall its 5, 6, 7 series and certain Rolls Royce models...

The difference between worship and warship is a character.

The site of a mosque and a temple once again creates unrest in India, while politicians have a field day.

Scientists have found an earth like planet. They spotted oceans, plants, animals, a house and outside it a Jehovah's Witness

Scientists discover new earth like 'Goldilocks' planet....

With all the bribery, corruption and greed it seems like the "common wealth" games have started much before the Commonwealth Games!

Corruption riddles the Commonwealth Games in India....

Does a tablet get approved by the FCC or the FDA? Especially one that is an Apple or a Blackberry or an Orange...

Blackberry joins the list of companies announcing a tablet computer.

AAI LUV: Hmmm, A lot of thought went into this merger decission, looks like no one can hate it!!!

Southwest Airlines to buy Air Tran ...

Design Revolution! Hyundai gets rid of left and right mirrors, blinkers and side windows!! If the steering wheel does not work, who needs to turn?

Hyundai recalls Sonatas due to problems with the steering mechanism...

The "other" movie released this week: Social Networth !

In conjunction with the release of the movie "Social Network", based upon the story behind Facebook, CEO Mark Zuckerberg donates $100 Million to the Newark Public School system.Talk about networth at 26!!!

What do you do when your Facebook hangs? Inject it with Botox !

Worst Facebook outage in 4 years.

How do you recall infant formula? You burp the baby!

Similac recalls infant formula.....It has beetles in it.....

Did you hear? There was no Sunrise today in Florida: The Sunshine State !!!

Google Maps due to a technical problem lost an entire city named Sunrise in the state of Florida.

How does a church launder money? Holy Water !

The Vatican bank being investigated for money laundering.

Mark Hurd and HP kissed and madeup. Really? Isn't it all the kissing and making up that got him out of HP in the first place?

HP settles lawsuit against Mark Hurd that stopped him from working with Oracle. Earlier Hurd left HP after allegations of sexual harassment.

BP today announced that the oil well at the bottom of the ocean is now dead. What they meant is that all that was well at the bottom of the ocean is now officially dead.

BP announces success. The well spilling oil at the bottom of the ocean is sealed and dead.

Why did Pakistan refuse to take financial aid from India? India was offering cash not cashmir !

Pakistan reluctant to accept aid from India to assist victims of the devestating floods!

Why did the monk undress? He had a dirty habit!

 Pope Benedict visits London amongst protests against clergy abuse.

Why is New York called "The city that never sleeps?" Bed Bugs !

Here a bug, there a bug, everywhere a bug bug bug !
Bed bugs raid New York and many other US cities.

Mexico was born in 1810. Lawn mowers were invented in 1830. Hmmmm...

Mexico celebrates its 200th birthday!

For the MTV Video Music Awards Lady Gaga wanted to wear something very rare. Her designer got her a steak !

Lady Gaga wears a raw meat dress to the MTV VMA...
Some say well done others call her Miss Steak !

With all the pain and suffering around the world, France votes to abolish the veil not the wail !

France votes to abolish the veil...

Hammeroids: Pain in the a@* experienced by Apple and caused by the hammering it's getting from Andriod !!!

Google's Android takes Apple head-on....

What would you find on Adolf Hitler's Facebook page that you wouldn't find anywhere else? The Dislike Button!

People apparently are now spending much more time on Facebook than Google...

Term used for someone who leaves Microsoft to marry Nokia? Elop

Stephen Elop leaves Microsoft to become the CEO at Nokia...

Why did Ryanair scrape the bottom? Because their pilot was flying SoLow !!!

Discount airline Ryanair's CEO wants to eliminate co-pilots!
Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel!

What is the term for sexual harassment at Oracle? A Job Description.

Mark Hurd ousted from HP due to allegations of sexual harassment joins Oracle as co-President...

Find and you shall search....Google's new tagline!

Google introduces Instant Search. It almost finds things even before you search....

What would happen if one asteroid hit earth? I would be dead. And then what would happen if a second asteroid hit earth?

A rare event today: Two asteroids pass close to earth on one single day.

Fish don't like it when we meddle with their eggs! In their world it's called Sea Roe Tolerance!

First genetically modified animal to be approved for human consumption: A Salmon.

What do you call someone who recalls dog food? A Retriever !

Tons of dog food recalled in the US, related to a risk of salmonella.

In its effort to censor the Adult Services section craigslist.org is thinking of getting rid of the "or G" in its name!

No more orgies on Craigslist.org.....

What do Tony Blair and George W Bush have in common? An extra pair of shoes!

Tony Blair gets pelted with shoes and eggs at his book signing. When he called his buddy GW, the former president said: "Been there, Done that!"

Latest movie being shot in New Zealand: Lord of the Ring of Fire!

7.0 Earthquake hits New Zealand: Location of the filming of Lord of the Rings. New Zealand also sits on the ring of fire...

Storms at the Outer Banks! ...Wait a minute...What is this? A weather headline or a financial headline. Do I need to frantically buy or sell?

Hurricane Earl bashes North Carolina Outer Banks...
And we aren't over the bashing we have been taking at our banks so far...

Burger King's new definition of a Quarter Pounder = Sales figures that pound you quarter after quarter after quarter...

Burger King sold!

What do you call the reincarnation of the Bhagvad Gita? aNewGita !

India spreading the message of Anugita.
Anugita part of the 14th book of the Mahabharat is about Krishna reviving the teachings of the Gita in a newer context.

How do you get rid of the "I have this tune stuck in my head" feeling? You move your head away from the music streaming feature of your new Apple TV!

Apple announces new and improved Apple TV and more...
With all this music streaming around, somethings gotta stick...

Why couldn't California ban plastic bags from their grocery stores? Because then only men would be allowed to enter and shop!

California senate votes against a ban of plastic bags in grocery stores in the Baywatch state!

Why does Bollywood star John Abraham want to insure his rear end? He 'firmly' believes this ass-et increases his lie-ability with Indian women!

Just seen on CNN: John Abraham tries to insure his butt for Rs. 100 Million!

What do you call sweet Indonesians? Lava Brownies!

Indonesian volcano Mount Sinabung erupts.

Earl grey and brewing over the US. Time for a Tea Party ?!!!

Hurricane Earl strengthening over the eastern seaboard.
Tea Parties also active from a political perspective...

Why was Paris Hilton released after being caught smoking marijuana? The police who sniffed out the drugs in her car were too high to testify!

Las Vegas police arrested Paris for having cocaine in her purse. The police had pulled over her car after they smelled marijuana.
So if I get this right, they were following the smell of marijuana and then pulled over the car, they really must have been quite high themselves....right?
They had to let her go...

The Saudi Arabian employer finally confessed that after watching American television, he thought it was really cool to "nail the maid!"

Saudi employer and wife in anger, hammer 24 nails into their Sri Lankan maid.

A terror suspect sang on Canadian Idol. He was a hit man !!

Canadian terror suspect Khurram Syed Sher auditioned for “Canadian Idol” in 2008.
He was charged this week with conspiracy to knowingly facilitate a terrorist activity.

How do you tell the difference between the real Lady Gaga and her wax statue at Madame Tussauds? Poker Face !

Madame Tussauds museums will now have a wax replica of Lady Gaga.

Women rejoice. Gee! Male Calls...

Google kicks off Gmail calls.
Now you have fewer excuses for not calling back !

Screw the iPhone ! There's a smoking hot new gadget on the market. The Garmin GPS, it's HOT, and yes, it's Smokin' !

Garmin recalls a million GPS units. Battery overheats and yes it catches fire!!!
Will go well with that recalled Toyota you've been driving.

What could be the worst feature of the Katrina Kaif Indian Barbie Doll? Salman Khan as Ken!!!

Barbie to release Indian Barbie modelled after superstar Katrina Kaif...

India and China are much more than third world countries....Much more than a third of the world lives there!

When the economy booms so does the population and China is slated to be the No. 2 economy of the world...

How did China's monster traffic jam dissapear overnight? I'm not sure but I heard someone say, "One minute Yuan the road and the other minute you're off !"

The traffic jam that was to last for weeks or even months is seemed to have resolved itself overnight...

Why do people who continuously send text messages make good gardners? They have green thumbs!

Melissa Thompson of Salford, England, has the new Guinness World Record for fastest typing on a phone.
She typed the sentence "The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality they seldom attack a human." in a whopping 25.94 seconds.

Pro-verb of the day: A Tiger does not change his strifes !

Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren are now divorced !

Intel's getting into the health food business! Merger with McAfee will give us chips that are healthy

Intel plans to acquire antivirus/security provider McAfee...

Why did Princess Jasmine of Agrabah sue Disney? Because they won't let her wear a scarf. She and beau Aladdin have hired the best lawyer in town. Goofy!

Woman in California sues Disneyland because the company dress code won't let her wear a scarf, now that she has decided to wear it.

After stationing moles WikiLeaks founder is charged with molestation!!

Julian Assange, founder of WikiLeaks (a whistle blowing website), is charged with rape and molestation,

What do you make of recalled eggs? Leftovereasy !

The egg recall in the US expands...

Why did 380 million eggs get recalled in the US? Hey, it's Primaries' season and we don't want rotten eggs flying around now, do we?

Huge egg recall in the US as the FDA investigates cases of salmonella.

American Airlines introduces "Depress Seats". At a $50 discount, you could enjoy the cozy feeling of an extra slim middle seat.

American Airlines introduces Express Seats at a premium coach passengers can sit and board ahead of the rest of coach....

Bugs around the world are rejoicing. The Web is dead.....

Wired magazine reports the World Wide Web is dead as the Internet chugs along....
Welcome a whole new breed of bugs....

Unlike Jet Blue, Colombian flight attendants are very jovial. In a recent bad weather landing they had the entire aircraft in splits!

Unfortunate accident causes a Colombian aircraft to split upon landing...

Venice will now have female gondoliers because there was a boat load of tourists missing after male gondoliers refused to stop and ask for directions?

Giorgia Boscolo may be Venice's first female gondolier ever...

China denies breast development was a "side effect" of their milk powder. It was a front effect !!!

If it were a side effect, breasts would hang under your armpits !

What did India say when the British left 60+ years ago? Let's catch up soon...the rest is history!

India celebrates Independence Day.

Why is Pakistan not interested in monitoring BlackBerry messages? Because they can't handle intelligence !!!

India threatens to ban BlackBerry services if there is no work around the "too secure" issue.

My BlackBerry is so secure, it gives me an insecurity complex !!!

More countries threaten to ban the BlackBerry due to security reasons. It is too secure...

Latest airline fees: A surcharge if you'd wish for an attendant to serve you and an additional premium if you'd wish them to be polite.

Disgruntled flight attendants...
No wonder people who travel a lot are called "warriors".

Flight AttendAunt: An age inappropriate lady who serves you goodies on the plane.

It seems flight attendants can't tolerate passengers. Ha!

IT inherently implies neutrality, right?

Net Neutrality is the way to go....or?

Honda recalls hundreds of thousands of cars + Valley Meat Company recalls a million pounds of beef = McDonalds drive-thru sales slump !!!

Who would have thought !!!

Covered with blood, shouldn't they be called Diemonds?

Charles Taylor the former president of Liberia is accused of funding a civil war in Sierra Leone using blood diamonds.

Why did Julia Roberts become a Hindu? Holy Cow!!! Did she...?

Julia Roberts officially converts to Hinduism. Guess she loved the Indian version of the song Pretty Woman...

Why did Californians vote to ban same sex marriages? They wanted to get out of the rut of "the same sex"...

Being dull and boring could have been illegal !!!

Have you Hurd? HP's Chief Sexecutive Officer has resigned!!!

HP CEO Mark Hurd resigned after a sexual harassment claim against him.

What's your nuclear reaction? Power or Energy?

Anniversary of Hiroshima bombing...

I haven't seen "Inception" yet, but enjoyed the preview they had arranged for me in my dreams last night. Can't wait to see the full feature that they've promised me Saturday night...in my dreams obviously.

Inception the complicated movie about dreams...

Why did Saudi Arabia ban the Blackberry? They thought Research In "Motion" was using the devices to monitor their stools.

United Arab Emirates talks about banning the Blackberry due to, get this, too much security on the device!!!

Did Hillary Clinton really pay attention to Bill's wedding vows? "...and darling Hillary have no worries or concerns, I vow ye to love, to hold and to cherish in turns...!"

Chelsea Clinton daughter of Bill and Hillary Clinton weds  long time beau. Did Hillary pass on some pearls of wisdom??? You bet !!!

Why did Dick Cheney's heart surgery take 8 hours? It took 60 minutes for the actual procedure and 7 hours to find his heart!

Dick Cheney out of ICU after heart surgery. What!!!! Does he actually have a heart?!!

Why did Ellen Degeneres quit American Idol? She had mistaken it for an "Eye Doll" contest!!

Ellen announces she will leave American Idol after just one season as judge.