...und Tschüss!

Spain defeats Germany to enter the finals of FIFA 2010.

Why do New Yorkers call Queen Elizabeth the Icemaiden? Because she comes once in 53 years...

The Queen visits New York after 53 years...

What did the queen say to the real estate moghul? "We have sold many of our properties, Mr. Trump, but for the past 900 years the monarchy has passed Windsor!!!"

The Queen visits New York. The Windsor Castle is the oldest inhabited castle they say...

What is Queen Elizabeth doing in New York? Shopping !!! Since her spending was cut she was advised to visit the House of Woodbury Commons and the House of Lords & Taylor.

Queen Elizabeth's spending budget is tightned.

What does it take to become a good qawwali singer? Qawwalification !

Visiting Delhi !

General Motors is planning an IPO. I guess if things don't work out they will just recall the shares.

Mid August IPO for General Motors.

Argentina was vierless !!!

Germany defeats Argentina 4:0......Vier:Null

Why doesn't BP care about turtles? Because they won't separate from Shell !!!

Turtles amongst the fauna drastically affected by the BP oil spill.

When Apple said the iPhone "raised the bar" for smart phones they forgot to mention it was a software glitch!!!

Apple claims it has erroneously calculated the formula which displays signal bars on the iPhone, and therefore the iPhone has been showing too many bars in areas with weak signal strength.

Brazilch !!!

Holland downs Brazil. FIFA 2010.

Motto of the Finnish Digital Revolution: Liberty, Equality, Connectivity.

Finland proposes to make broadband a legal right.

What happens when BP messes with Mother Nature? We have to face God and the wrath of his Hari Cane !!!

Hurricane Alex adds to the complexity of the BP oil spill dissaster.

In India Hari is a name associated with God.

Why do Portu-Geese waddle? Because they have a Spain in their a@# !!!

FIFA 2010. Spain clobbers Portugal !

What is the difference between iPhone III and iPhone IV ? Two bars have become one....especially when Rom'n !

iPhone reception problems continue.

Soon to be, the most used key by porn addicts: X, and the most used key when they are in rehab Ctrl-X - to "cut" the addition.

Porn sites will now have their own domain .xxx

The Ultimate Partnership: To take the spotlight off AT&T's limited 3G coverage, Apple designs a phone that has limited reception...

iPhone 4 reception problems related to the wrap-around antenna.

I regret to inform you that due to safety reasonsI will need to recall my September 2009 Toyota status updates.

Toyota now recalls new Lexus models due to excessive gasoline spill !!!

iPhone 4 users' favorite song: You are my fire, The one desire, Believe when I say, Don't hold it that way !!! - From Blackoutstreet Boys.

iPhone 4 reception problems. Please hold your phones differently to get better reception.

Lessons Unlearnt: What happened to Adam when he bit into the Apple? His Provider locked him in....for eternity!!!

Here comes iPhone 4...

Chrystal Clear !

President Obama asks Gen. Stan McChrystal to clear off !!!!

What happens when Indians start running the US? .......Ahem!....."When"...???

Nikki Haley of Indian descent wins the Republician primary. Bobby Jindal is already there !!!
Word has it, most of it already is run by Indians through outsourcing.....

Hairloom: A device used to hand down hair from generation to generation through the process of weaving!!!

Hey why not!!!

China:USA No longer YuanI

China plans to un-peg the Yuan from the Dollar, kicking off a stock rally!

On Father's Day dads get a grill. The rest of the year they just get grilled!!!

Happy Father's Day!

"Like" is the new Love !!!

In the new world of thumb dominated messaging the thumbs up symbol is turning out to be more valuable than the heart...

Why did KFC sue BP? Because of BP, KFC lost the title of "The Greasiest Birds In The World"

The damage goes on...

After they defeated Germany the football team from Serbia was knighted by the queen of England. They will be called Sir Bien...Très Bien !

FIFA 2010.

What did Mexico say to France? I, Juan. You, Louise!

FIFA 2010. Mexico: France 2:0....what else did you expect.

The future of Campbell's Spaghettios soup is now cloudy with a chance of meatballs!

Campbell Soup Recalls 15 Million Pounds of its SpaghettiOs with meatballs!!!

Harrison Ford had a choice: pop the grand question, or grand pop the question!

The couple is finally coupled!

Mattress sales are on the uptick since UBS agreed to share names of their Swiss bank account holders.

No more secrets....!!!

Is the iPhone getting older? It now has glasses in front of its Retina.

Reting display, glass front and stainless steel bones....the new iPhone already sold out!!!

Design flaw: Watercrafts being recalled. Arizona discovers that citizenSHIPS have an issue with ANCHOR babies!!!

Arizona hopes to pass even tougher immigration laws. Babies of illegal immigrants cannot get US citizenship.

Why did Meg Whitman get so popular, politically? It's her name! W Hit Man !!

Nominated in the republican primaries for governor of California.

...and we are confident the British can stop something as fast and slippery as......let's say......oil !!!

England:USA 1:1 tie, when the ball bounces off the hands of British goalkeeper Robert Green.

Why does FIFA come once in four years? With all the ball kicking, what else DID you expect?

Excitement, once every four!!!

What anti-apartheid message does FIFA send the world? Put black and white together and you can really have a ball !

FIFA 2010 in South Africa.

Why should people with Alzheimer's go work for car manufacturers? Because once they're there, they'll recall everything!!!

BMW and VW are the latest in the line of car manufacturers, recalling cars.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He got a kick out of it !

Enjoy FIFA 2010

van der Sloot's favorite sport: SockHer !

In the news Mr. van der Sloot and FIFA 2010!

When kicked, do footballs spin counter clockwise in South Africa?

FIFA 2010 - South Africa !

Why did AT&T introduce a limited data plan? So that hackers could download fewer iPad owner email addresses!!!

Hackers exploit security gap to download email addresses of iPad owners from AT&T.

Carlifiorina - The Golden State

2010 Republican Nominee for the US Senate from California is Carly Fiorina ex CEO of HP

Why is Lady Gaga so pleased with Arizona? Starting July you won't find any illegal copies of Alejandro there! Right?

The new immigration law kicks in July '10

Note to BP: It's spelled Ocean not O Shun !

The spill is contained, the spill is contained not, the spill is contained, the spill is contained not......

Latest Recall: Universities and Business Schools are recalling 1 Million CEOs.

Another million cars recalled, this time by GM. Maybe we need to recall the guys responsible for the problems.

MmmmmTV Awwwwards: Did you turn Scarlett?

Q-tips' sales have sky rocketed since Apple announced a front-facing camera on the iPhone. Now you need clean ears before you call a friend!

Behold the new iPhone 4. Cameras on the back and front!!!

Now Chrysler recalls cars. Their new tagline: Dodge or Ram!

Chrysler recalls are on the upswing now. Can you believe it: Sticky Pedals!!!

Height of Decency: Apple does not support websites that Flash!!!

Will the new iPhone being released tomorrow be a bit more friendlier to Adobe Flash?

Why do Indians win the spelling bee? Well, have you seen our names? Anything short of 14 characters is probably a nickname!

Anamika Veeramani of Indian descent win the spelling bee in the US.

McDonalds worried about the health of our kids recalled Shrek glasses that contain Cadmium. The BadMeYumm in their food is of no concern!!

McDonalds today recalls its Shrek glasses. There is a very slim chance that Cadmium in the paint could cause health hazzard.

Oxymoron: Truth about the Rig.

If it is rigged how can it be true!!!

40 Years ToGetHer ! Man was he slow!

Al and Tipper 40 years!

Why did G. W. Bush join Facebook? Access to millions of private and personal conversations without the cost and controversy of wiretapping. Hey! Why not?

GW joins FB

Will they recount the Gorey details? Did something Tip'er off? Was there a climate change? An inconvenient truth? Or a precedent of vice?

Al and Tipper Gore decide to separate after 40 years together!

Why are vegetarians leaving Facebook? There is Poke on the menu!

Are people leaving Facebook because of privacy concerns? Apparently not!

I too am planning to sue Google. I requested for eating places near me and Google suggested McDonalds. the food gave me a bad heartburn!!!

Woman sues Google after her car hit her as she was walking on a highway, directions were given to her by Google Maps and she followed them to the T !!!

Today: Delete Facebook account, tomorrow: close all credit cards, then terminate cellphone, frequent flyer cards, GPS, Google, ATM....I've got back my privacy. Yay!

Today is the "Quit Facebook" Day. Inspired by individuals worried about privacy.

Privacy: A wall was used to keep the world out, now it's used to share your deepest and darkest secrets with the world. Go Figure...

Privacy is being redefined...

"Whatchoo Tweetin' 'bout?"

Different Strokes star Gary Coleman dies at 42. His most famous phrase in the T.V. series would of course be "Whatchoo Talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

BP is hiring cosmetic surgeons! Someone told HR they were now diversifying into Liposuction.

Top Kill seems to be failing, oil continues to spill into the gulf of Mexico.

Insert quarter here → ║ to read tonight's status update.

Monetizing digital content is no child's play

Executives somewhere up there, shove a boat load of shit down the throats of those at the bottom to curb harm spreading to the general environment. BP calls it Top Kill. Others call it management.

BP tries Top Kill approach to curb the oil spill.

Side Effects: "Either I take Tylenol or I b profane!"

Tylenol back in the news with adverse side effects and recalls

5/26/2010....................There you go! I just up dated my status.

LOL

After Fergie got caught pimping meetings with Prince Andrew, the queen of England will now no longer accept money from people wanting to see the crown jewels!!!

What a royal screw up!!!

Wall street today does not believe that "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain!"

Spanish bank bailout affects the Euro and the US stock markets' futures

What is the most popular tourist destination for women in India? Man Galore!

Mangalore in the limelight, though through a terrible tragedy.

"No! I did not poke myself with needles to inject performance-enhancing drugs." Floyd Landis has no proof that I lanced my arm strong!

Lantis accuses Lance Armstrong of doping.

On my "No Fly List": Air India.

Another fatal crash!

Televisioon.

Google announces entry into the TV business.

Euro, Euro, Euro your boat gently up s@#&* creek!

The Euro raising global concern around another financial meltdown.

Oxymoron? Naked Shorts.

In an effort to protect the Euro, Germany moves to ban the practice of "Naked Short Selling"

Lebanese miss USA. Awwwww! We miss them too......

...especially in our headlines!

Rima Fakih of Lebanese origins is crowned Miss USA 2010

General Motors is finally out of the red, Why? Because fortunately we've finally found something that wastes more oil than a GM truck. Unfortunately it lies at the bottom of the ocean!

Gas guzzlers are back in vogue???
GM does well. Finally out of the red.

Sarah Palin issued an apology to immigrants. When she said Obama should "Secure our Borders" she meant the bookstore where she was signing.

Sarah Palin says the Arizona Immigration Law should be rolled out across the US.

hs tts pae s nrpe o y red nl ic a wrid bu Fcbo piay. cvr koea toa ero m I ens yo snif m rf dtyce i tdu uas iT

Users are leaving Facebook due to privacy concerns. Point is, you have the option to control what information gets out. Read this status update by alternating characters from the end and begining of the sentence.

Why are baby boomers worried about Facebook? There's hardly any "social" security !!!

Data privacy is turning into data piracy at Facebook.

Apple learns the hard way : In Vietnam, when someone finds an iPho, you are literally in a soup !!!

Another iPhone 4G prototype located in Vietnam.

Uploading Status Update : ████████████░░░░░░ 60% Complete........I need a new cell phone !!!

Slow, slow, slow connections...

Playboy announces a "safe for work" website. This your-boss-will-not-know-what-you've-been-doing website will be named www.go-ogle.com.

Safe for work???
Did they get inspired by the ogling going on at the TSA workplace, with the new body scanners, I wonder?

Second Attempt: BP is trying to contain the Gulf of Mexico oil spill with a smaller dome. The operation has been named Dome and Domer !

Another dome to be lowered into the gulf to control the oil spill.

What would happen if Apple and Nokia were to merge? The litigation community would go out of business!!!

Law Suit.
Counter Law Suit.
Counter Counter Law Suit.

M Power!

Happy Mother's Day!

Bin Laden, an avid Facebook user, deactivated his account after Facebook announced its new location features. Shoot!!! We were so hoping to book his face.

Now I'm going to tell you where I'm doing that what you have no interest in knowing in the first place.

Why did Pakistan test missiles today? After the botched Time Square incident, terrorists don't take them seriously any more!!!

Pakistan tests nuclear capable missiles.

TSA: They See All............especially with the new body scanners at airports.

TSA official assaults colleague after his colleague passes comments about what he "saw" or actually could almost not see during a full body scan training.

Playing all across Wall Street yesterday: "You spin my head right round, when you go down, when you go down DOW!"

The Dow. What a drop!

Why did Faisal Shahzad flee the scene? Apparently his Taliban ties did not go well with the soot in his car!

A near miss for New Yorkers. Thanks to a vigilant bystander.

Age old wisdom redefined by Forbes: Try, Try and you WILL be succeeded...

Forbes releases "Worst Words To Say At Work"...."Try" tops the list !

Out Of Box Thinking: The BP oil spill could be contained "In The Box"

BP planning to lower a huge box to contain the oil spill. It has been tried before but not at this scale.

No Tylenol recall in the Middle East. They don't drink Tylenol. The bottle says "Shake Well Before Use". What happens to the Sheikh after use is quite questionable!!!

Another recall....this time for children's brands.

Sign at my "green" BP gas station: It is illegal and dangerous to fill gasoline into an unauthorized container. Is the ocean authorized?

An environmentaly friendly oil spill....

United and Continental airlines to merge. The resulting, largest airline in the world will be called Unicon...Yes U N I conned!

Week of mergers and acquisitions, I'd say...

Why is HP's Mergers and Aquisition team so very demotivated? Becuase lately everyone at HP has been telling them to "Talk to the Palm!"

HP to buy Palm!!

What did Luke Skywalker say to Sandra Bullock and Jesse James? "May d vorce be wid you."

Star Wars on planet earth...

Oxymoron? Risky Securities.

The buzz on Risky Securities is all over, given the incident with Goldman Sachs. Question is how can security be risky :)

"Do you know what we can do about the looming housing crisis?" asked his team. "You Bet!" said the CEO of Goldman. They took him literally.

The rest is history.
Goldman Sachs hearings make headlines.

Euro slips on Greece.

It is a slippery slope for the Euro and Greece is not helping.