What caused the Big Bang? God was texting and driving!!!

Start Anew!

What happens when you raise your glasses? Things get very blurry!

Enjoy your New Year's Eve celebrations!

Lesser known French carol: All I want for Christmas is my two front teat !!!

French government to pay women for removal of defective breast implants.

Why did the clock get arrested? Because it struck twelve!!!

Why did December lose? Because January 1 !!!

How does New York begin the new year? By trying to drop a round ball on to a Times Square!

New Year's Eve celebrations kick off globally.

Headline of the year: Brazil bans French breasts!!!

French made implants banned in Brazil!!!

New Year Resolution: Upgrade Mayan Calendar Regularly

21 Dec 2012 - Doomsday?

Who rakes in cash every new ear? A plastic surgeon!

Happy New Ear!

Old Wall Street saying: What happens in 2011 stays in 2011!

Laughter!

The nice got Bloomingdales the naughty got Kohls!

Work Right!

Anger Management!

'11 didn't seem like a won-won situation type of year now did it?

What does an attorney wear to work? A lawsuit !

Don Number 2: I'm s**tty and I know it!

Sinead O'Connor's lesser known hit: Nothing compares 2Me!

Sinead O'Connor ends fourth marriage after 16 days!

Managing by numb-ers!