Motivational movie for procrastinators: How to tame your drag on!

Doing well at the box office...could I get some tips on procrastination?

How did Avatar and Monica Lewinsky get so popular? Blue Men.

Just released on DVD, the mega mega block buster...

A Spaniard underwent a 24 hour surgery for the world's first full face transplant. He's going to spend the next 24 days updating his online profile pictures.

...and write an autobiography called Face Book.

Why did immigrants rush to Arizona for a Green Card? They thought it was "The GC State"

Tougher immigration reforms put in place in The Grand Canyon State.

Did you know that Twitter is the most popular restaurant in the world? Millions go there tweet.

Though you're only allowed very small portions.

SEC officials were caught surfing porn sites. Apparently they misunderstood Obama's economic directive to put in every effort to get it up!

We'll do our best...

Social Graph: A friendly place where you plot your X against your Y...fe

Welcome to the future. Facebook embarks on it Social Graph journey.

Your Facebook 'Like' rating is soon going to be as important as your credit rating! And next to the 'Like' button hopefully the 'Yike' button!!!

Facebook goes web surfing....

Earth to mankind: "Why don't you pack your plastic bags and boldly go where no man has gone before?"

Earth Day.....contemplate!!!

Oxymoron? Iceland Volcano.

Fire and Ice, literally.
The volcano erupts in Iceland and ash disrupts flights over Europe for now an entire week.

Someone found a 4G iPhone in a bar but given AT&T's service coverage he said he'd rather have found a bar on his iPhone.

AT&T: More bars in more places....really!!!

4G iPhone prototype lost by an Apple engineer and was found in a bar. The rest is history. Gizmodo.com disects the device over the web.

The newest casino on the strip: Goldman Sachs Resorts.........resorts to gambling that is!

All bets are off!
Goldman Sachs under scrutiny for "betting" on derivatives.

So an airline can give you free inflight WiFi access and then charge you for the carry-on laptop bag you bring into the aircraft?

There's nothing like a free lunch....

The US headed to Mars !!! Sweet !!! Hold back on the Snickers guys, next on the list: Milky Way!

President Obama sweetens the space program.

Toyota is now getting into the health business. Buy a Toyota Sienna and you'll lose your spare tyres. Guaranteed!!!

...And if you buy one in the next 5 minutes, they'll throw in the brakes, absolutely FREE. You just pay for slipping and bad handling...with your life!

What do Liz Taylor and Larry King have in common? Ex-perience !!!

Another marriage, another divorce!

TAXES: Dollars donated by the "have nots" to the "haves" through a "have always been" organization called the government.

Happy Tax Day.

REFUN: The money returned to Tiger Woods for the 14 fun loving dependants on his Tax Return.

Tax Day!!!

What happens when a Lexus rolls over? It STOPS!!!!.....Kudos to the Toyota Engineers.

What a brakethrough!!!

Invest in a Lexus? Well your investment can now rollover!

The Lexus issues go on. Rollover SUVs

Have the privilege of attending a speech given by President Clinton. Now I really understand why women just love him.....He comes late...very very late!

A charismatic speech however.

After Ryan Air's toilet tax & Spirit Airlines' cabin bag fee, Delta airlines will now have coin operated overhead lights and oxygen masks.

Let the games begin!!!

Parents around the world are now suing their teenagers for the emotional trauma they caused by ignoring their friend requests on Facebook!

Teen sues mother over Facebook access, what next?

NASA to launch Space Taxis. Drivers Wanted. In space english is a foreign language, there are no traffic rules and everyone is an alien !

Watch out NYC. Cabs are going to be even harder to find.

Stools it is!!! Delta Airlines announced today that they would remove all seatbacks and passengers could get one if they paid a small fee.

Ryan air decided to charge passengers for the usage of restrooms.

iPad: Experience the web like never before !!! Especially without a Wi-Fi connection.

The Wi-Fi fix is in!!

Toyota got a 16 million dollar speeding ticket. "What about points?", I say. Did they actually get the point?

Or is their licence going to be suspended?

Next Big Idea: Sex Rehab Clinics. Especially as an App on a 3 G enabled touchy-feely hand held device!

Celebrities are popping in and out of rehab clinics. Is there a growing market there?

...finally the agent said, "The eggs please hand them over. Easy, easy!"

Happy Easter

...and the FBI crashed in on our Easter hunt. They say the eggs were poached !!!

Happy Easter

I got an Easter greeting from the FBI. unfortunately it was scrambled!

Happy Easter.

Starting today the computer keyboard will officially be called keybored.

Here comes the iPad.

Masters Of The Game: Tiger Woods or Jesse James.

The driver or the rider?

This just in: Now you can trade an age old laptop for a spanking new iPad - http://tinyurl.com/ykapg9m

Hail the iPad. Happy April Fools Day!

This sentence is false.

Beat this on April Fools day!!!

The iPhone on Verizon?!!! I can finally get rid of my eye patch cell phone holder!

My eye phone could be an iPhone soon...

Why is NASA investigating Toyota? They were told there is some Extra Terrestrial-Activity

I'd say the terrestrial activity in the vehicals is a lot extra!
We come in peace, but end up in pieces!

How do you speed up your computer? You put it in your car...especially if it is a Toyota!

Had a bad day with my computer today!

Phew! Stocks are finally doing better. My 401K has moved from minus $100,000 to minus $99,501. I can finally go out buy me an iPad.

The Stock Market rallies!!!

Sarah Palin, last night asked the US to increase security in Alaska. Russia eliminated 2 timezones and is now even closer to her home!!!

"Rush Ya" she said "or we'll have a price to pay!"

Which movie are you: An Inconvenient Truth or Al is in Wonderland?

It's blowing hot and cold...

Tiger Woods and Jesse James will not be celebrating Earth Hour. Turning lights off actually makes them spend more energy!!!

....in more ways than one...

Syphilis is spreading fast, Guys! this ain't no joke. Facebook may be to blame, so beware who you poke!

British officials are blaming Facebook for the recent uptick in syphilis!!!

...and what did Microsoft have to say about the China-Google situation? "When China shuts a door, it opens many Windows!"

Their exact words in Chinese were,"Cha Ching!!!"

What did China say when Google left the country? Yahoooooo!!!

Search and you will be fined!

Having problems with your "downloads?" Add some fiber to your diet, Google Fiber that is!

Cities vying for the Google Fiber are roughing it out!

...next on the agenda: Wealth Care Reform.

Health...Wealth...and.....

Jesse James was overheard saying, "I'm a bull not a bullock!"

Though today Sandra would rather make him a bullock!!!

Standard greeting at Toyota: "Howz it going?"

and going....and going....and going...

He's a professional bookkeeper. That would explain the thousands in library late fees!

Cash in - cash out

What is the dress code at Toyota? Pedal pushers and lawsuits.

Dressed to kill !!!
Let the lawsuits begin. Class actions lined up against Toyota.

Bernie Madoff got beat up in jail by toxic in-vest men ......

What goes around comes around.....

Most parents love it when their kids learn cursive writing in school. It is the cursive talking that is a problem!

 @##$%!!!

Tiger's come......back!

Return of the newsmaker...

Why is Google moving out of China? I heard it's the unruly characters !

I'm told they bite and bite again....

Apple takes beating over "Life of battery".

Replacement iPads if battery runs out.

Electricity is powerful !

Storms hit the northeast US. Power outages for the past 2 days. Behold the power of electricity. Can't even boil a cup of tea !!!

I call her everyday, but she does not like that name.

When does a Toyota stop? Only when you break!

More runaway Toyotas in the headlines this week.

Today you can pre-order a ticket that gets you a spot at the end of a line 4 blocks away from an Apple store on April 3rd at 2 AM. iPad.Yay!

Pre-order your iPad...the mania begins.. :)

Mexico is now constructing a wall along its border to the US to prevent aspiring billionaires running across in the thousands.

World's richest man is now Carlos Slim from Mexico.

Lost In Chinese Translation: Pet Food. Pet. Food. Big difference!

China is considering ban on eating dogs and cats.....

This just in: Avatar won 9 Academy Awards on the planet Pandora.

Looks like Meryll Streep is moving there too!!!

Steve Baldwin could have done a better job!

The Steve Martin - Alec Baldwin combo did not rake in the laughs ABC had expected at last night's Oscars.

My designer picks for the red carpet. Meryll Streep: Oscar de la Renta, B Madoff: G Armani, Oprah: Boss Hugo and Tiger should Vera Wang.

The Oscars are here and given that M Streep almost never gets one she should probably rent. Mr. Madoff well gee where's our money? Oprah is switching Channel I heard and Tiger's ...ahem...is in the spotlight!!!

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Ha Ha Ha.

While we're debating Full Body Scanners, they are working on Fool Body Scanners!

The aim of the game is to remain one step ahead.

Makes you scratch your head and think. There's a reason it's called A Lice in Wonderland.

Or is it technically A Louse ?
In any case enjoy the newest release this weekend!

Captain Sully Sullenberger retires. Geese hitting the fans is one thing, but air traffic controllers, flying by the seat of their daipers..?

No wonder NY is the city that never sleeps......how could you?
The captain retires, while a scandal develops around a NY air traffic controller bringing his kid to work and having the kid talk to planes.

After a Kansas town changed its name to Google, Beijing calls itself Xerox, LA is now Botox, Paris is Rosetta Stone and London is Victoria's Secret !

Topeka, Kansas will be Google for a month !!!
We can surely come up with many other names....right?

Bill Clinton called Tiger Woods....Question is whether it was to give or take advice!

Let's compare notes!

Gator aide won't tolerate crock !

Tiger to be cut from Gatorade marketing!

Hope you get the best Bhang For Your Bhuck today!

Happy Holi.

Hock eh!

Canada and the US in the Olympic Ice Hockey Finals.
The puck stops here!

Win-ter Advisory: Thursday, the only thing falling faster than the snow on Wall Street were the stocks!

Up and DOW...

GASPedal !!!

...and other such hidden messages.

Another fix for Toyotas on a roll - Retyre them !!!

Mr. Toyoda apologizes.
We're on a roll !!!

How do you 'fix' a Toyota with an overactive drive? You put it in Neuter-al !!

Jim Lentz, the president of Toyota Motor Sales in the US apologized yesterday and said we finally have a fix....however....not exactly...there may be more problems..hhmmmmm!

Would you change your lifestyle if you were to pay taxes based upon the type of calories you consumed?

Two birds with one stone....Healthcare...Federal Deficit.....or.....?

Lufthansa pilots on strike! NW Airlines has decided to hire them all. Pilots who are not so keen on flying go well with the NW cockpit record!

As long as they can discuss company policy or play solitaire on their laptops in the cockpit, they should be over qualified for Northwest Airlines :)

FBI investigating if webcams turn on remotely. Investigate? Isn't that what webcams are designed for?...or so I've heard...

FBI probing into student claims that, school turned on his webcam remotely!!!

I'm sorry. I conquered. I saw. I came.

...and then I conquered more and I saw more....and....and....and...
The TW apology is in...the jury is out!

Screwed up models recall. Hey, wait a minute! Are we talking Toyota or The Tiger?

Today comes the apology!

Toyota: Bad Cars. Good Auto Mobiles.

Cars that accelerate, cruise, brake and steer themselves. Shouldn't they be called auto mobiles?!!!

Southwest airlines installed toilet seats at all their airport gates. Passengers who do not fit in the seat will not be allowed to board.

Filmmaker Kevin Smith was requested to un-board a flight as he was too overweight.
At Southwest Airlines size does matter!!!

Another oxymoron: Windows 7 SmartPhone.

I typically open my windows to enjoy the blue sky not the blue screen....of death!
Now comes the new Windows 7 Phone OS....

The other woman on President Obama's mind: Bernadette Soon !

The national deficit's got to be on his mind this President's Day!

Women have voted. A PC has more sex-appeal than a MAC. After all when have you ever heard a MAC user say "My computer is hung!"

Happy Valentine's Day!

Updating my resume: Does whistling at the urinal qualify as VoIP experience?

Google now getting into broadband?!!!
Do they have or even need the relevant experience?
How does this align with their overall strategy?
For the non-geeks that would be Voice over I Pee...

A call center in Bangalore has issued a formal apology. Snow ordered for the Province of Columbia was sent to the District of Columbia. Oops!

The winter olympics open in Vancouver. Everyone's  there except the snow!!!

What do Nicole Kidman and the Prius have in common? Problems with Cruise Control !!

Not the gas pedal or brakes, now drivers seem to have issues with cruise control on the Prius.
Sounds familiar Ms. Kidman?

The snow was flaky!

Seriously was expecting much more, given the media coverage.

Palm Inc. shares plumeted after Ms. Palin started endorsing them.

Cheat Sheets come very handy!!

McDonalds is recalling billions of hamburgers. Apparently once you start eating you just can't stop!!!

Slam the brakes.
Lose some Wait!

The world's best-run companies run on SAP. The question is, who runs SAP?

Surprise...Surprise...SAP CEO resigns!

What happens to Colts when they die? They become Saints......very offensive Saints.

Super Bowl 2010. Colts vs. Saints.

Drive a Prius. Go Green...... in the face!

Accelerator problems now in the Prius

Xes : Did Tiger Woods get it backwards?

He's just out of rehab...Is he cured?

Today I ripped off all the BMW logos from my car and replaced them with Toyota logos. Now whenever I get caught speeding.........I collect money!

Every cloud has a silver lining, doesn't it?

Dreamworks got film rights to the crazy gas pedal fiasco in Toyota cars. The film will be titled Mad-a-gas-car: Return 2 a-free-car.

Let the fun begin!