Phew! Stocks are finally doing better. My 401K has moved from minus $100,000 to minus $99,501. I can finally go out buy me an iPad.

The Stock Market rallies!!!

Sarah Palin, last night asked the US to increase security in Alaska. Russia eliminated 2 timezones and is now even closer to her home!!!

"Rush Ya" she said "or we'll have a price to pay!"

Which movie are you: An Inconvenient Truth or Al is in Wonderland?

It's blowing hot and cold...

Tiger Woods and Jesse James will not be celebrating Earth Hour. Turning lights off actually makes them spend more energy!!!

....in more ways than one...

Syphilis is spreading fast, Guys! this ain't no joke. Facebook may be to blame, so beware who you poke!

British officials are blaming Facebook for the recent uptick in syphilis!!!

...and what did Microsoft have to say about the China-Google situation? "When China shuts a door, it opens many Windows!"

Their exact words in Chinese were,"Cha Ching!!!"

What did China say when Google left the country? Yahoooooo!!!

Search and you will be fined!

Having problems with your "downloads?" Add some fiber to your diet, Google Fiber that is!

Cities vying for the Google Fiber are roughing it out!

...next on the agenda: Wealth Care Reform.

Health...Wealth...and.....

Jesse James was overheard saying, "I'm a bull not a bullock!"

Though today Sandra would rather make him a bullock!!!

Standard greeting at Toyota: "Howz it going?"

and going....and going....and going...

He's a professional bookkeeper. That would explain the thousands in library late fees!

Cash in - cash out

What is the dress code at Toyota? Pedal pushers and lawsuits.

Dressed to kill !!!
Let the lawsuits begin. Class actions lined up against Toyota.

Bernie Madoff got beat up in jail by toxic in-vest men ......

What goes around comes around.....

Most parents love it when their kids learn cursive writing in school. It is the cursive talking that is a problem!

 @##$%!!!

Tiger's come......back!

Return of the newsmaker...

Why is Google moving out of China? I heard it's the unruly characters !

I'm told they bite and bite again....

Apple takes beating over "Life of battery".

Replacement iPads if battery runs out.

Electricity is powerful !

Storms hit the northeast US. Power outages for the past 2 days. Behold the power of electricity. Can't even boil a cup of tea !!!

I call her everyday, but she does not like that name.

When does a Toyota stop? Only when you break!

More runaway Toyotas in the headlines this week.

Today you can pre-order a ticket that gets you a spot at the end of a line 4 blocks away from an Apple store on April 3rd at 2 AM. iPad.Yay!

Pre-order your iPad...the mania begins.. :)

Mexico is now constructing a wall along its border to the US to prevent aspiring billionaires running across in the thousands.

World's richest man is now Carlos Slim from Mexico.

Lost In Chinese Translation: Pet Food. Pet. Food. Big difference!

China is considering ban on eating dogs and cats.....

This just in: Avatar won 9 Academy Awards on the planet Pandora.

Looks like Meryll Streep is moving there too!!!

Steve Baldwin could have done a better job!

The Steve Martin - Alec Baldwin combo did not rake in the laughs ABC had expected at last night's Oscars.

My designer picks for the red carpet. Meryll Streep: Oscar de la Renta, B Madoff: G Armani, Oprah: Boss Hugo and Tiger should Vera Wang.

The Oscars are here and given that M Streep almost never gets one she should probably rent. Mr. Madoff well gee where's our money? Oprah is switching Channel I heard and Tiger's ...ahem...is in the spotlight!!!

TOP SECRET : ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ Tweet will self destruct once you scratch and read. PLEASE DO NOT RETWEET...

Ha Ha Ha.

While we're debating Full Body Scanners, they are working on Fool Body Scanners!

The aim of the game is to remain one step ahead.

Makes you scratch your head and think. There's a reason it's called A Lice in Wonderland.

Or is it technically A Louse ?
In any case enjoy the newest release this weekend!

Captain Sully Sullenberger retires. Geese hitting the fans is one thing, but air traffic controllers, flying by the seat of their daipers..?

No wonder NY is the city that never sleeps......how could you?
The captain retires, while a scandal develops around a NY air traffic controller bringing his kid to work and having the kid talk to planes.

After a Kansas town changed its name to Google, Beijing calls itself Xerox, LA is now Botox, Paris is Rosetta Stone and London is Victoria's Secret !

Topeka, Kansas will be Google for a month !!!
We can surely come up with many other names....right?

Bill Clinton called Tiger Woods....Question is whether it was to give or take advice!

Let's compare notes!

Gator aide won't tolerate crock !

Tiger to be cut from Gatorade marketing!

Hope you get the best Bhang For Your Bhuck today!

Happy Holi.

Hock eh!

Canada and the US in the Olympic Ice Hockey Finals.
The puck stops here!

Win-ter Advisory: Thursday, the only thing falling faster than the snow on Wall Street were the stocks!

Up and DOW...

GASPedal !!!

...and other such hidden messages.

Another fix for Toyotas on a roll - Retyre them !!!

Mr. Toyoda apologizes.
We're on a roll !!!

How do you 'fix' a Toyota with an overactive drive? You put it in Neuter-al !!

Jim Lentz, the president of Toyota Motor Sales in the US apologized yesterday and said we finally have a fix....however....not exactly...there may be more problems..hhmmmmm!

Would you change your lifestyle if you were to pay taxes based upon the type of calories you consumed?

Two birds with one stone....Healthcare...Federal Deficit.....or.....?

Lufthansa pilots on strike! NW Airlines has decided to hire them all. Pilots who are not so keen on flying go well with the NW cockpit record!

As long as they can discuss company policy or play solitaire on their laptops in the cockpit, they should be over qualified for Northwest Airlines :)

FBI investigating if webcams turn on remotely. Investigate? Isn't that what webcams are designed for?...or so I've heard...

FBI probing into student claims that, school turned on his webcam remotely!!!

I'm sorry. I conquered. I saw. I came.

...and then I conquered more and I saw more....and....and....and...
The TW apology is in...the jury is out!

Screwed up models recall. Hey, wait a minute! Are we talking Toyota or The Tiger?

Today comes the apology!

Toyota: Bad Cars. Good Auto Mobiles.

Cars that accelerate, cruise, brake and steer themselves. Shouldn't they be called auto mobiles?!!!

Southwest airlines installed toilet seats at all their airport gates. Passengers who do not fit in the seat will not be allowed to board.

Filmmaker Kevin Smith was requested to un-board a flight as he was too overweight.
At Southwest Airlines size does matter!!!

Another oxymoron: Windows 7 SmartPhone.

I typically open my windows to enjoy the blue sky not the blue screen....of death!
Now comes the new Windows 7 Phone OS....

The other woman on President Obama's mind: Bernadette Soon !

The national deficit's got to be on his mind this President's Day!

Women have voted. A PC has more sex-appeal than a MAC. After all when have you ever heard a MAC user say "My computer is hung!"

Happy Valentine's Day!

Updating my resume: Does whistling at the urinal qualify as VoIP experience?

Google now getting into broadband?!!!
Do they have or even need the relevant experience?
How does this align with their overall strategy?
For the non-geeks that would be Voice over I Pee...

A call center in Bangalore has issued a formal apology. Snow ordered for the Province of Columbia was sent to the District of Columbia. Oops!

The winter olympics open in Vancouver. Everyone's  there except the snow!!!

What do Nicole Kidman and the Prius have in common? Problems with Cruise Control !!

Not the gas pedal or brakes, now drivers seem to have issues with cruise control on the Prius.
Sounds familiar Ms. Kidman?

The snow was flaky!

Seriously was expecting much more, given the media coverage.

Palm Inc. shares plumeted after Ms. Palin started endorsing them.

Cheat Sheets come very handy!!

McDonalds is recalling billions of hamburgers. Apparently once you start eating you just can't stop!!!

Slam the brakes.
Lose some Wait!

The world's best-run companies run on SAP. The question is, who runs SAP?

Surprise...Surprise...SAP CEO resigns!

What happens to Colts when they die? They become Saints......very offensive Saints.

Super Bowl 2010. Colts vs. Saints.

Drive a Prius. Go Green...... in the face!

Accelerator problems now in the Prius

Xes : Did Tiger Woods get it backwards?

He's just out of rehab...Is he cured?

Today I ripped off all the BMW logos from my car and replaced them with Toyota logos. Now whenever I get caught speeding.........I collect money!

Every cloud has a silver lining, doesn't it?

Dreamworks got film rights to the crazy gas pedal fiasco in Toyota cars. The film will be titled Mad-a-gas-car: Return 2 a-free-car.

Let the fun begin!

Phew Finally!!! Pilots of the Northwest flight that overshot a runway by 100 miles have confessed. They weren't chit-chatting, distracted or asleep. It was the gas pedal!

Day by day the "gas pedal" fiasco gets messier! Now it may be much more than the gas pedal...

The FBI is raiding Toyota dealerships. Word on the street's that dealerships were first selling Speed and now you could go get a Fix!

A whole new High!

World's best marketing. Best hype creation. Known for their "absolutely no leaks" marketing. No wonder they named their next product iPad.

The name still has the world scratching its head in a Whiskey Tango Foxtrot moment!!!

Best Chamber Performance, Best Large Ensemble Performance, Best Instrumental Com Position, Best Around Country Performance (Duo or Group), Best Hip Hopping, Best Large Jizz Ensemble, Best Urban Alternatives Performance, Best Solo Performance, Best Con (Temporary), Best Hard Rock Instrumental Performance (Duo or Group), Best Gossipel Performance, Best Instrumental Soloist Performance, Best Oral Performance, Best Remix, Best Special Limited Edition Package, Best Bad Record of the Year. The Lifetime Achievement Grammy Award today goes to: Tiger Woods.

Musick!!!!

Explosive News!!!! iPhones and iPads banned on airplanes.....after all they are considered to be A TNT device !

When will Apple shed the AT&T exclusivity???
Any sight of Verizon on the Apple horizon?

Fujitsue !!!

Apparently they own the name iPad.

Toyota also announced their most advanced technology in a magical and revolutionary device: iPaddle even if you don't !

The latest Toy ota.
A sticky pedal.

My medical insurance responded to my earlier query. They would have reimbursed a tablet, but a Pad...no way!.....Well I tried.

Apple announces the iPad....Wow!!!

Will my medical insurance cover an Apple tablet, if I have a prescription from my psychiatrist? Apparently generics won't do.

Apple rumord to announce the touch screen computer (tablet) today!
Can I have one please?

So how does one, between driving, eating, drinking, channel surfing, shaving, reading, emailing, GPS'ing and calling, find time for texting?

Maybe we need a keyboard that wraps around the steering wheel....ya?
Texting to be banned soon.....why not sooner?

Pakistan's unemployment drops. High ranking Pakistani officials now moonlight as models in India!!!

India runs a series of ads, erroneously including pictures of Pakistan's former air force chief Tanvir Mahmood Ahmed.

It seems bin Laden released a new tape, but given his extremely poor ratings, Al Jazeera decided to move the airing from prime time to late night...very late night...along with all the other comedies.

Out there comedies have a whole new meaning.....Come Dies!

Charles E. Phillips served as president Obama's economic recovery ADVISOR. I guess the billboard ADs have now really made us WISER!

Charles E. Phillips' affair splatterd across billboards. Until now they were just billbored...

Note to comedy fans, you win some, you lose some. NBC loses Conan O'Brien, FOX gains Sarah Palin!

Conan O'Brien broadcasts last Tonight Show on NBC.....no sweat guys. Sarah is on, on FOX!

How do you 'regulate' bank executives? Prune .......... their appetites!

President Obama's announcements on regulations for financial institutions results in a plunge in the stock market.

Tonighty Night!

Conan O'Brien bids farewell to the Tonight Show.

Mass. Victory!!!

GOP victory in the MA senate race, has more implications than meet the eye!

Who says people don't care? Today I was touched! Experienced the new airport security process......first hand......then......

Security screenings are never going to be the same again!!!

Color less or Color full?

The United States celebrates Martin Luther King Jr.
Would you prefer a world that does not see color or a world that flourishes under the diversity of color?
The US did take "u" out of "colour"!

The Human Bond: A country shaken. The world stirred.

Prayers for the people of Haiti devestated by the earthquake. People around the world pitch in to assist.

Google won't put on a Goggle, especially one made in China!

In this case U, V filters are not good for the Is

Did you hear Microsoft is converting A Text Message into A Text-Mess Age

Microsoft mobile devices are apparently receiving messges from the future!!! A technology glitch!

Consumers expect banks to pay a fee for the money lent to banks in their time of need? How unethical...Damn the fine print!

Obama to collect fees from banks directly or indirectly benefited by the tax payer funded bailout of banks.

Commission investigates Bonus!

Commission setup to investigate roots of financial crisis and questions CEOs.
Definition of a bank on Wikipedia: A bank is a financial organization Lie-sensed by a government

Google's new logo in China: gOOOgle

They have threatened to move out of China!
Out Of Office literally.

Since Christmas the most popular garment brand in Yemen: Under Armour

Protect yourself from blotched "incidents".

Jay Le No

NBC announces it will axe Jay Leno's prime time slot moving him back to late night.

E coli and other bacteria will soon be too obese and incapable of attacking humans....they have tasted soda....and seem to love it!

Soda fountains found infested with fecal bacteria and E coli!
Either their tastes are improving, or.....

Whatever happened to the fired security guards from the White House banquet? They apparently got a job at the Newark international airport!!

What is with these guys? Letting more people in than keeping them out!

In case you tuned in late.....the women were increasing awearness !!!

Apparently breast cancer awarness, with the bra color campaign going viral !

Oxymoron? Flat screen 3D TV !!!

Paraded at this year's Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas super slim TVs 7mm thick and 3D television, an emerging concept.

I'm color blind. Is there a braille equivalent?

Women all over the web are posting colors, apparently those of their bras!!!
Cash in guys!

It's all about chemistry: Does the Google pH one pass the acid test?

The jury is out!!!

Given that it's a Google phone shouldn't it always FIND a signal?

All the hype, will the Nexus live up to expectations

Imagine! Google Talk -> Google Translate -> Google Talk.....Now we are talking...Globally!!!

Pick up your Google phone, dial a number, pick a language, start talking....the possibilities are endless!

World's tallest real building in a cold market. World's first golf course designed by Tiger Woods. Hhmmm, why is Dubai bankrupt?

Unless of course the losses from one are balanced by the gains from the other!!!

Latest heartthrob: Out of this world, Tall, Dark Blue and some....

Avatar: Raking in billions!

How can TERROR be right, when most of it is ERROR.

Is it the only way out?