This sentence is false.

Beat this on April Fools day!!!

The iPhone on Verizon?!!! I can finally get rid of my eye patch cell phone holder!

My eye phone could be an iPhone soon...

Why is NASA investigating Toyota? They were told there is some Extra Terrestrial-Activity

I'd say the terrestrial activity in the vehicals is a lot extra!
We come in peace, but end up in pieces!

How do you speed up your computer? You put it in your car...especially if it is a Toyota!

Had a bad day with my computer today!

Phew! Stocks are finally doing better. My 401K has moved from minus $100,000 to minus $99,501. I can finally go out buy me an iPad.

The Stock Market rallies!!!

Sarah Palin, last night asked the US to increase security in Alaska. Russia eliminated 2 timezones and is now even closer to her home!!!

"Rush Ya" she said "or we'll have a price to pay!"

Which movie are you: An Inconvenient Truth or Al is in Wonderland?

It's blowing hot and cold...

Tiger Woods and Jesse James will not be celebrating Earth Hour. Turning lights off actually makes them spend more energy!!!

....in more ways than one...

Syphilis is spreading fast, Guys! this ain't no joke. Facebook may be to blame, so beware who you poke!

British officials are blaming Facebook for the recent uptick in syphilis!!!

...and what did Microsoft have to say about the China-Google situation? "When China shuts a door, it opens many Windows!"

Their exact words in Chinese were,"Cha Ching!!!"

What did China say when Google left the country? Yahoooooo!!!

Search and you will be fined!

Having problems with your "downloads?" Add some fiber to your diet, Google Fiber that is!

Cities vying for the Google Fiber are roughing it out!

...next on the agenda: Wealth Care Reform.

Health...Wealth...and.....

Jesse James was overheard saying, "I'm a bull not a bullock!"

Though today Sandra would rather make him a bullock!!!

Standard greeting at Toyota: "Howz it going?"

and going....and going....and going...

He's a professional bookkeeper. That would explain the thousands in library late fees!

Cash in - cash out

What is the dress code at Toyota? Pedal pushers and lawsuits.

Dressed to kill !!!
Let the lawsuits begin. Class actions lined up against Toyota.

Bernie Madoff got beat up in jail by toxic in-vest men ......

What goes around comes around.....

Most parents love it when their kids learn cursive writing in school. It is the cursive talking that is a problem!

 @##$%!!!

Tiger's come......back!

Return of the newsmaker...

Why is Google moving out of China? I heard it's the unruly characters !

I'm told they bite and bite again....

Apple takes beating over "Life of battery".

Replacement iPads if battery runs out.

Electricity is powerful !

Storms hit the northeast US. Power outages for the past 2 days. Behold the power of electricity. Can't even boil a cup of tea !!!

I call her everyday, but she does not like that name.

When does a Toyota stop? Only when you break!

More runaway Toyotas in the headlines this week.

Today you can pre-order a ticket that gets you a spot at the end of a line 4 blocks away from an Apple store on April 3rd at 2 AM. iPad.Yay!

Pre-order your iPad...the mania begins.. :)

Mexico is now constructing a wall along its border to the US to prevent aspiring billionaires running across in the thousands.

World's richest man is now Carlos Slim from Mexico.

Lost In Chinese Translation: Pet Food. Pet. Food. Big difference!

China is considering ban on eating dogs and cats.....

This just in: Avatar won 9 Academy Awards on the planet Pandora.

Looks like Meryll Streep is moving there too!!!

Steve Baldwin could have done a better job!

The Steve Martin - Alec Baldwin combo did not rake in the laughs ABC had expected at last night's Oscars.

My designer picks for the red carpet. Meryll Streep: Oscar de la Renta, B Madoff: G Armani, Oprah: Boss Hugo and Tiger should Vera Wang.

The Oscars are here and given that M Streep almost never gets one she should probably rent. Mr. Madoff well gee where's our money? Oprah is switching Channel I heard and Tiger's ...ahem...is in the spotlight!!!

TOP SECRET : ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ Tweet will self destruct once you scratch and read. PLEASE DO NOT RETWEET...

Ha Ha Ha.

While we're debating Full Body Scanners, they are working on Fool Body Scanners!

The aim of the game is to remain one step ahead.

Makes you scratch your head and think. There's a reason it's called A Lice in Wonderland.

Or is it technically A Louse ?
In any case enjoy the newest release this weekend!

Captain Sully Sullenberger retires. Geese hitting the fans is one thing, but air traffic controllers, flying by the seat of their daipers..?

No wonder NY is the city that never sleeps......how could you?
The captain retires, while a scandal develops around a NY air traffic controller bringing his kid to work and having the kid talk to planes.

After a Kansas town changed its name to Google, Beijing calls itself Xerox, LA is now Botox, Paris is Rosetta Stone and London is Victoria's Secret !

Topeka, Kansas will be Google for a month !!!
We can surely come up with many other names....right?

Bill Clinton called Tiger Woods....Question is whether it was to give or take advice!

Let's compare notes!

Gator aide won't tolerate crock !

Tiger to be cut from Gatorade marketing!